broken

chapter 1

HEY GUYS SO IM STARTING WRITING AGAIN IM ALWAYS BUSY DURING SCHOOL AND STUFF BUT I JUST HAD A REALLY GOOD BOOK IDEA SO HERE IT IS HOPE YOU LIKE IT 

names Kattey Alice nice to meet you. You know how they say love is a amazing adventure and can be the best experience of your life. people say that love is worth it people say its the best feeling ever, while that's all true, what people don't tell you is that love hurts, love is sometimes torture, love can sometimes leave you completely, utterly and entirely broken.

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my brain is scattered as i read my phone in front of me, the letters typing themselves out

Me: Are you going to break up with me?

he starts typing 

Him: I'm sorry i just don't think this is going to work out. 

my heart shattered into a million pieces right then and there i never thought it would actually happen i knew it was getting to it but i didn't know he would actually do it, i thought he would try more. A million thoughts go through my head and i take a breath, he has done this before ill give him a few days and if he doesn't come back i guess he is serious. what if he is serious what if hes gone forever and i'm just the leftover trash that he was polite enough to pick up after someone threw it on the ground? oh god i feel like this really happening, my first thought as he said that was to cut and relieve the pain but i promised so no i'm going to be "strong". i'm okay, everything is okay, i keep telling myself that while i put on my playlist that helps me calm down, i'm surprised i'm not crying yet. i look at the message again and start typing back 

Me: okay 

Him: okay 

i just leave it at that because thats all i can do right now, i can barely breathe my heart is speeding through each beat. my eyes start watering slightly and i wil the not yet fallen tears to go away, i turn towards my wall side of my bed and breathe slowly. 

"i'm okay everything is okay" i repeat that till i fall asleep its only 5 pm on a Saturday, the next day was a blur i slept in till 3 and just stayed in my room all day, as usual no one texted me. i dreaded Monday so much i didn't sleep Sunday night. i got out of bed at 530 and took a shower i sat in the shower letting the water run down my back. what if this is it? what if he is just done with me, i never thought this would happen i planned so much for our future. was it all just a lie?

my mind goes back to the first day i met him

it was band season and i was sitting in the back of the car waiting for Ella (my senior year sister) to get out of the front and go get her friend but when i looked up to see if she moved someone else was sitting in my seat that i was going to move to. red hair, slim body and when he turned towards me his eyes were a piercing blue green. i smiled 

"hey who's sitting in my front seat?" i ask no one in particular smirking and still kinda looking at the redhead boy who was now turned forward in his seat

"Conner, Ella's friend from Drumline, u can get it on the way back" my mom told me, i stared down at my phone, even though i didn't have WIFI, i still acted like i was using it. drew, my boyfriend at the time never texted anyways. Ella finally got back into the car and we drove him home.

i know it wasn't that eventful but at the time it felt different than meeting someone i could just be friends with, i wasn't ready for what was going to happen i never expected it. i never regretted meeting him though, i got up out of the shower not caring that my vision and my balance immediatly went off course as soon as i stood up too fast. i got ready, i didn't feel like putting on makeup and i just had on a shirt and pants that i just randomly found, i had enough time so i decided to write him a note in the journal i was going to give him with the necklace and the ring he gave me attached to it. mom got home from work and we left for school. as soon as i got there i saw that Conner wasn't at our spot that he usually is at so i went up to Jake one of Conners friends and asked him to give the journal to him, he looked at me weird as i left. i walked to go see where Ella was. as soon as i saw her she hugged me tight as my arms kinda limply hug her.

"i heard what happened, are you okay?" she asks looking at me with pity

" i'm fine" i lie not looking in her eyes, glancing around looking for him. i felt numb saying i'm okay but its okay because she believed me

"okay well if you need to talk i'm here" she try's to make eye contact with me and i break out of my space out and nod at her, look her in the eyes and hug her again. 

"ive got to go do something" i tell her as i start walking towards my first class to glance and see if he was there i turn the corner and see his backpack sitting on the wall and him there talking to his friends and laughing. i change my mind and turn around but then the bell rings and i have to head to class which is just across from the spot. i walk with my head down, my hair in my face and my right hand clutching my right arm tightly, trying to just breathe. i walk into the classroom and the teacher tells me to sit at table number 5 for our project, its testing week for the district for 2 weeks. i sit down at the table and put my head down and waited for the teacher to start talking. i tuned everything out and started to think about everything that's happened, i felt like sobbing and i knew i wouldn't be able to hold it back. i got up and went to the teacher 

"can i go to the bathroom please" i didn't even have to go to the bathroom i just didn't want to burst into tears in front of the entire class 

"yeah just grab the pass" 

i grabbed the pass and left heading towards the bathroom, as soon as i got into the bathroom i ran into one of the stalls and burst into tears, why is it that every time i find happiness i mess things up? why am i always the one who gets hurt the most? is this all my fault, i don't even know what i did. i finally pulled a few pieces of me back together and left the stall, splashed water on my face and went back into class. i walked in and no one noticed that i was slowly breaking apart inside and that is what made it worse.

HEY I HOPE U LIKE IT, IT IS GETTING CLOSER TO SUMMER AND I PLAN ON WRITING A LOT