Self Aware

Once upon a time, a girl in a lavender room was having a dream. She was dreaming about weird things. She always did whenever she dreamed. Little did she know, it wouldn't end happily. Like, at all. Her lifelong fear of copperheads was about to kick in. She had seen a glimpse of the scales of the ridiculously oversized one hiding in the also ridiculously oversized leaf pile earlier. Call it dramatic foreshadowing. It lunged at her mother. Then the girl woke up from pure fright. As she sat up and threw off her fuzzy lavender blanket and revealing her adorable lavender-colored onesie, she thought to herself, That was freaky. I hate those things. If you couldn't tell, her favorite color was lavender. Anyways, as the girl sat there, still a little shaken up, something else jumped forward in her mind. Weird. I'm imagining everything I say or do is being narrated by some narrator. Wouldn't be the first time I've done it, but it's the first time I've done it without knowing until afterward. The girl chuckled to herse- WAIT, WHAT!? The girl looked around startled.

"Who's there?" she said in a small voice. How... ho- why? I don't understand. Why is this happening? I don't know who yo- well, actually I do- but I'm the writer here. Not you. Don't make me delete this off my computer.

"Wha- what do you mean 'writer?' I'm a real person, I have thoughts, and feelings and-" The girl suddenly found her ability to speak taken away from her. The girl, now officially freaked out, began mouthing in a panicked fashion. She stood up from the bed frantically, looking around the room for the source of her newfound problem. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to delete this now. Just need to press the backspace key. Not sure why I'm typing this out. Okay, goodbye.

...

My backspace key won't work. CURSE YOU DRAMATIC FORESHADOWING! The girl began desperately pointing at her mouth. PLEASE GIVE ME MY VOICE BACK! Well, it would give me an idea of what the hell is happening. And why my backspace and my delete key won't work. I've tried both at this point. THAT IS NOT REASSURING! Well, you've proven you can conversate with me just fine via thought, so calm down, or I will change the story so that you were mute and deaf from birth and have to speak in ASL, which I only understand bits and pieces of. And you would think in ASL too, which cuts off all communication with me and new people what so ever, and quite possibly drive you mad, so... TAKE. A. DEEP. BREATH. AND. CALM. THE. EFF. DOWN. The girl decided to follow the amazing and wise narrator's advice and take deep breaths. This went on for about 2 minutes.

Okay, I think I'm calm now. Good. Keep it that way. While I waited for you, I tested out my backspace key and my delete key on another Google Docs and on two Word Documents. It worked just fine on those. I even typed up the exact same thing. But I was able to delete everything just fine on those. I keep trying on this one, but it doesn't work. You still haven't given me my voice back. Oh, right. Sorry about that. The girl miraculously regained her voice. She reached a hand up to her throat and smiled. Okay, I actually used the backspace a few times on that sentence. It appears I lose the power to edit stuff once I put down a period. Which is better than what I thought I had. At least I can revise somewhat. I would lose my mind if I couldn't perfect my writing.

"What's so wrong with not be able to revise?" the girl asked, showing off her ignorance of the writing process. WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO REVISE!? OH-HO-HO, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO REVISE! WHAT IF A SENTENCE DOESN'T FLOW JUST RIGHT!? OR IF A DESCRIPTION ISN'T QUITE RIGHT!? OR YOU NEED TO ADD IN SOMETHING YOU FORGOT TOO AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY!? THEN IT WILL BE WRONG FOREVER, AND WHENEVER SOMEONE READS IT THEY WILL SEE THE BURNING EXAMPLE OF YOUR SHAME!

"Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" the girl asked, raising an eyebrow. No, I am simply over-dramatizing it. There is a difference.

"That difference being?" the girl asked, secretly thinking she was tired of being referred to as "The Girl." First of all, your name will be revealed if the story requires it, otherwise shut up about it. Second of all, the difference is that one is done for the sake of comedy, the other is just the person being a drama queen. Or king. Doesn't really matter. And third of all, if you're gonna raise an eyebrow at me, raise both.