Boy From Florida

Chapter 4: Susan

              It's Wednesday night, the same night I went to the park with Cameron. I just lay in my dark room thinking about what happened today. Do I really have feelings for a boy? Am I a queer? What happens when I tell my parents, what are they going to do with me? Kill me? Kick me out? I'm not entirely sure, but I know it's not going to be a good thing when they find out. It's also not a good thing when everyone at school find out and start calling me a faggot, but that's the least of my worries. I just want to stay friends with Cameron and hopefully even more than that if he feels the same way about me the way I feel about him.

[5:30 AM]

             Ugh, why did I wake up so early? Was it because of all the stress i'm going through right now. I feel like staying home tonight because I don't feel like seeing Cameron after what recently happened with me. I also feel like if I distance myself from him I will slowly lose interest for him. But, yet again, he is my one and only friend at this damn school. At first I thought coming to a public school is a really good opportunity for me to meet new people, make new friends, and even find my loved one, but I didn't expect it to be a guy! I mean, if people start knowing that i'm a faggot and accept me for me, then I should be fine to express myself.. right? I don't even know right now, it's too early to think, so I start getting ready for school and make myself a nice ass breakfast because I deserve this. It's still only 6:45 AM and I leave in 45 minutes, what am I going to do in that time. I decide to do something so absurd, I text Cameron to see if he's awake. I think of a way to text him for like 10 minutes and finally agree on something to send him, just a plain and simple "Hey, you awake?" I patiently wait for his response hoping he will respond to me something. 5 minutes pass and it's 7:00 AM and I hear a loud ring come from my phone. I went to check what it was, it was from Cameron! He responded! He actually cares about me! I unlock my phone and see the message saying "Who's this?" Are you fucking kidding me? I forgot to tell him it's me. I just ignore the text and wait for it to be 7:30 AM to leave for school.

[8:05 AM]

              The last bell for school rings and I see Cameron fast walking into the class barely making the bell. He sits down in front of me and says "Morning!" with the biggest smile on his face. I kind of just give him a smile too and don't say anything due to the fear inside of me, all my insecurities suddenly drop a weight onto my shoulders. I need to focus on today's lesson, so I look at the board and see "Partner Day!" and I suddenly start to freak out. I don't want anyone knowing I am a bit different from everyone else! Like can I just work alone forever? I don't want to socialize with anyone right now! 

"Okay class, you know what today is! Partner Day! I already assigned your partners, it is listed on the board. Get going!"

                 So I start reading the names trying to find mine with Cameron, but I didn't get paired up with Cameron! Haha, this is the happiest thing that happened to me this morning! I read the person's name who I am paired with, "Susan" hmm. A girl huh, maybe I can ask her out to show that i'm not gay. But i'm so scrawny and feminine, that's only so because I hang out with my mom so much because she usually brings me around when she needs "help" aka company. I just awkwardly stand in the corner of the room waiting for a girl to find me that is named Susan and suddenly a girl maybe about 4'8, blonde hair in a ponytail, red shorts, and a grey shirt that says "Lifeguard" on it walks to me and asks "Hey, are you Jacob?"

"Ye.. yeah, that's me, are you Susan?"

"Yeah, I mainly knew you because you were new to this school and you seem like a cool dude to hang out with."

"I'm not so interesting, I been home-schooled most of my life."

"No, that's honestly so cool! Who teaches you at home?"

"My mom normally taught me because my dad would go to work."

"Oh that's cool, we should get back to the lesson."

"Haha, oh right, I forgot about that."

               I had a weird feeling spending time with Susan, like she didn't care about who or what I am. I felt safe with her, I feel like if I hang out with her more often we can become good friends. We start to hear the teacher give us instructions on our project, and boy oh boy I am confused as hell. She was telling us we had to create an orb like figure that was painted like the Earth, but in our own visual representation make it a dying and burning version of it. It was deep, but jesus christ.

[15 minutes pass]

               We finally finish our burning Earthly like ball that we created with a styrofoam ball, a layer of colored paper, and some paint. I did most of the layering and she did most of the painting because she told me in her spare time she loves to draw and colors.

"Okay class, now everyone gets to present their beautiful artwork!"

              Everyone goes and finally Susan and I are last, the most anxious and fearful moment in my life mainly because I never presented my project to anyone but my mom and my dad. Apparently Cameron told me this is a competition and whoever wins gets 10 extra credit points for the school year and I immediately start freaking out because I didn't try at all making this ball. Susan starts noticing me freak out and she tries calming me down and she just holds my hand, looks me in the eyes, and says "breathe." Somehow that really calmed me down, not because I felt any way for her, just because I felt safe with her, I felt different with her, a good different. After we present out project Ms. Stickert tells us the top three people who won.

"Okay the top three teams who won are, Susan and Jacob, Cameron and Stephan, and Lindsey and Faith. Congratulations you three, everyone's projects looked amazing! I am so proud of you all!"

              Both Susan and I jump in excitement and hug each other. But shortly after Cameron comes over to us and congratulates us and I immediately become flustered with emotions.

Writers Note:

Sorry for the late post, had to work overtime last night and was pretty tired.