We all have to start over and it can be difficult sometimes. Especially in my case where I would have beared the weight of one hundred shirts, however I became an empty, hollow, extra thicc husk of a man. It was the day of harsh judgment and I knew I had infact failed the shirt deities above by suffocating on the bathroom floor, while rethinking my entire life's choice.
However, I rose from my bed of shame and the power of the Beanie God embraced me in an act of comfort and looked me in the eye...
'Ethan, in the darkest of moments, you must elicit a sign of dignity and hold on to it. It is your goal to-'
'Woah. I knew you were real...but, hey, how am I two seperate entities...I mean really dude?' I regretfully interupt.
"It'a sci-fi dude- don't stress," he calmly replies. "Now Ethan Klein let me bless you with a second chance- a chance to remake the decision: will you put upon yourself two hundred thicc layers of xxxxxxl shirts?"
"Yeah whatever you say dude," I accept his valiant offer.
"Now I shall descend, peace out piiiiiimps," he finished.
As a trippy ray of light, similar to the kind in an acid trip, consumes the Beanie God, I stare at the floor and think deeply about the BG's very righteous offer.
"HILA!!"
"YES?!"
"CAN WE QUICKLY GO TO WALMART?"
"YEAH, WHY?"
"THE BEANIE GOD DUDE!"
"ETHAN, I KNEW THAT CHALLENGE MADE YOU HALLUCINATE!"
"ENOUGH TALKING, MORE BUYING!"
YOU ARE READING
Buried in Shirts
Science FictionI am sinking in many shirts that are of many sizes. They are all cleaned perfectly- crisp edges finishing off the final touches. Only one man can take the weight of two hundred shirts. Only one man can handle his multiple chins being buried in the f...
