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I am nerd. Weird fat ugly nerd! Another cliche character? Ofcourse not! I may be a nerd but I am not a loser! I am not like those characters in watty or ebook who is nerd and weakling! Definitely not!
Tss ,I am not like those hopeless romantic nerd believing to have their own prince charming! Guh! That's fiction ,and I don't believe in fantasy . Because I am living in reality and I don't want to be dragged inside that pure imagination world and be happy in the end....in imagination too. How cruel ,tss.
But Im still a human. And I do fall in love. For a very cliche character. To a guy who is popularly handsome ,smart and rich guy. And he is Nowan. The campus running for valedictorian! Do I sound too excited? Well ,what can I do? He's my crush afterall. But no one knows ,because I am not a showy type of girl. Tss. Nothing will change anyway even if he know. Who am I anyway? An average campus nerd? He will never like me ,because I am nothing compare to the other girls in this campus.
Thats why , every time that I saw him with other girls , I just watch. Every time he laughs because of other girls , I just rolledeyes. Everytime he smile for another girl , I just curse. And yeah everytime ,I am just jealous
Physically ,I would look so fine ,but deep inside , I really wanna rip off those girls and shove the smiles in their faces away! Because I am just head overheels Jealous of them! It should have been me , but unfortunately ,it will never be me ..and I am aware of that.
But unexpected things still happens. Unbelievable things that I will never imagine to happen ,but did really happen!
He is smiling right in front of me. I can see the emotions in his eyes. Happy ,excitement , nervous and love? Am I seeing things wrongly?
"I-I like you....c-can I court you?"--that words came out from his own lips.
He likes me? Is this real? He really likes me? He is waiting formy response and I was still in shock. How did it happen that he likes me? He likea big fat ugly nerd?! Did he really like me? Am I imagining things?
I looked around and I can see the shock and envy in the eyes of everyone. Yeah right ,who wouldn't be shock in this unexpected and unbelievable situation?! B-but no! Imagining things is never my style!
He can't like me! He cant like a fat ugly nerd like me! That would never happen! He must be kidding me! He must be doing this as a joke! He must never like me!
I am hurt of what I am thinking , but pride is all I have! And I can't lose it now!
"I'm sorry,but I dont like you.. better find another girl"--i said ,and everyone including him was shock of my answer. This is the only thing I can do to savemy pride.
********August 12 ,2017
Dear Diary ,
I like her.
Dear Diary,
She is our campus nerd , and I really like her! But she dont know it!
Dear Diary ,
I'm going to confess ,I hope she likes me too.:)
Dear Diary,
I confessed. And I got rejected. I was happy ,but I am hurt. She dont like me maybe I should forget this Damn feelings .
---Nowan.
I wiped my flowing tears. He likes me! He really did like me! I was so stupid of rejecting him! I was so stupid of saving my pride! I hurted him for nothing! I-I still like him! Even how may times have passed , I am still into him!
I stand immediately to go for him! Because I want to takeback my words backthen! I want to love him! I want him!
I was about to take a step but a his Diary falls off one page. I took it from the ground and read what is written.
Dear Diary , August 11,2017
Thanks God. I moved on.:)
--Nowan
Another tear fell from my eyes.
I'm late! I am one day too late! He already moved on! He dont like me anymore! I'm such a stupid one! I'm not having him yet ,but I already lose him!
Our story is just starting ,but it already ends. I can't belive this! I made this story and I ended it immediately!
I did not expect that I am the protagonist ,but also ...the antagonist of my own strory.
