Weeks passed after the funeral before it finally sunk in that he was gone. He wasn’t coming back. He was gone forever and no one could do anything about. I would never be able to feel those curls, tickle my fingers as I ran my hand through his thick, unruly hair. No longer would his plump lips place kisses on my own, my neck, or the top of my head when i was feeling sad.
No, he wouldn’t be here to take me to prom, to see me get my diploma. Not even to buy the apartment he promised we would get after graduation, because after all, we were meant to be and we were going to be married one day.
But all that was shattered when he decided to get in to the car with a beer in his hand, the tequila on his breath overtaking his senses. It was no one’s fault but his own and it was a horrible thing to say but it was the truth. No one could stand the thought the same Harry Styles who was quarter-back, all A student, headed to A&M on a football scholarship, would ever get in a car intoxicated.
But he did and he was an idiot who signed his life away.
Even now, I hated thinking about him this way. Harry was good and smart and strong but he wasn’t good enough for the future. That’s what everyone else didn’t know. He was pissed scared about the future. About A&M, about keeping his grades high enough to maintain the GPA he needed for staying at the school. He was scared about marrying me. Harry Styles may have been an amazing person on the outside, but to all those people who didn’t know him well enough, well, they didn’t know that he was a pussy. He needed a way out of life and I gave him one.
Sure, he didn’t need to die, but it was better that way.
Now, he wasn’t the only one scarerd about the future. Because what good was it being a person if Harry Styles would always shadow your success? So of course, with Harry gone, one could finally live to her potential.
