My High School Mistakes

Flirting Leads to Kissing

"Just relax, ok?" He said.

I simply nodded. I had never done this before and I was wayy out of my comfort zone. I didn't even know what possessed me to ever agree to meet him here. With just a turn of a door knob we would be totally exposed and the memory of my first kiss would be ruined. I quickly tried to shake the thought out of my head as he slowly leaned in.

He held the back of my head with one hand and with the other held my chin. It would've felt like bliss if I knew what the hell I was doing. Instead I decided to jump back from the surprise. We looked at each other startled for a moment but soon recovered. He leaned in again and this time I was a bit more prepared to feel his tongue inside my mouth. Of course, I didn't know what I was doing and obviously he knew it. Never in my life had I been so aware of how awkward I am.

When he realized how tense I was, he decided it was best to just give me a peck on the lips. I tried to kiss him back, but I couldn't. It was like something had possessed me and I couldn't even think straight. So, in the end I decided to get up and stop the humiliation from become even worse. (How? I don't know.. But knowing myself, I knew the universe would find a way.)

"So that's it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess.." He replied.

I nodded and walked out the door, but not before looking back at him. If I could describe to you his face, I would. I honestly would, but his expression was literally indescribable. The only word that could come to my mind in that moment was "disappointment" and that's not a very fun word to describe your first kiss as.

I walked out of the room and went down to the courtyard where everyone was hanging out and waiting to be dismissed to class. The whole way I couldn't stop thinking about Sam and the kiss. I mean, just thinking about it made me blush and gave me butterflies. It wasn't the most pleasant memory, but it was still my first kiss and wow. I had never expected it to be so.. Awkward. I guess I expected fireworks and to be completely in love for my first kiss. I obviously had been watching too many movies.

That's what it felt walking in to the courtyard though. It felt unreal.. like something out of a movie. I kept my head low but still felt as if all eyes were on me. As if everyone knew what had just happened. Like they had all been there to witness the humiliation of my first kiss and were now judging every little thing about me. Luckily, it didn't last long and I quickly found my friends at our usual spot.

"Where were you?" asked Andrew. He had been one of my ex's but still one of my closest friends.

"Umm.. I actually just got here. I was running late this morning," I lied. Obviously I couldn't tell him about the whole kiss. He was my ex and talking about that made my stomach queasy.

I made small talk with the rest of the guys and tried to forget about the morning. Thankfully, none of the guys asked about the "tardiness" and I was soon dismissed to class. Unfortunately, Sam was in my first period.