taping eggshells

eight\better than sex: friendship

eight\better than sex: friendship

             Flynn and I didn't really have friends.

Other than Julie, there was no one who wanted to be around us—well, me mostly. People liked Flynn and were attracted to his good qualities, but Flynn was always around me and my presence seemed to damper the mood. If Flynn was the bright side of the moon then I was the shadow, and with me around no one else wanted to be close. Sometimes I felt guilty, that if it weren't for me Flynn would have been popular and loved by many.

But I could never take that step, to back away from him. I was a shadow and I could not exist without the light.

Sometimes though the guilt just eats me from the inside because if I had been brave enough to back away then Flynn would have had more friends for the short sixteen years he lived.

And it's with that thought that I can't sleep at night when I hear Jay snore softly and think of Mila's warmth.

----

 

The sound of Coan's guitar always put my heart at ease.

Jay, Coan and I were sitting in the grass by the edge of campus. It was our getaway location, the spot few people noticed beyond the patch of thick trees and bushes. How Coan found the place I didn't know. He said that it was where he went when classes were hard and stress was high. Inside Jay and I felt special because this was his private place and he had shown it to us.

In front of us there was a small river that ran by campus and cut us off from the rest of the land. I watched as birds flew about, their feathers gleaming in the afternoon sun. The sky was a crystal clear blue and Coan was strumming the guitar to random songs he had made up in the past. In his mouth there was a loose cigarette dangling and overhead the rays of light cast a warm orange glow around him.

"Stop staring." Jay said with a snicker. I turned and glared at him. Jay sat with his back against a tree, a tribal cardigan wrapped around him over his white t-shirt. He was wearing glasses but I could see the mischievous twinkle in the brown eyes that were partially hidden.

I snorted. "You're just jealous he's better looking."

Jay frowned and inched closer to me, our noses almost touching. "Tell me this is not a hot face." He said. I studied his features that were sharp and chiseled, every particle screaming out a bad boy sexy aura. Then I turned back to Coan who stopped playing guitar and was looking at us with an amused expression. I leaned toward Coan and grabbed the collar of his dark gray shirt, tugging his body forward.

"This is hot." I said, shoving Coan's face towards Jay. "It's a hot that doesn't even try to flaunt hotness." I grinned because Jay's eyebrows were scrunched up as he scanned Coan's face with distaste and Coan was laughing as sweetly as the notes of his guitar.

"I don't know what you think is so attractive about this starving hipster look." Jay said.

"I look like I'm starving?" Coan asked amused.

"You could use a little fat." I commented.

Jay chuckled and nodded at Coan. "Yup. Definitely needs fat."

"I'm not that skinny guys..." Coan muttered, examining his own body. "Am I?"

Jay laughed and threw his head back to look up at the sky. "Don't worry, Mila likes them bony and weak." Coan seemed to dislike how Jay called him weak but dismissed it and turned towards me, wiggling his eyebrows. He pulled my arm towards him and  I landed in his chest.

"Then I guess it doesn't matter." He said, his voice like a low vibrato, coming from his chest all the way through his nose and mouth, leaving a whisper of shivers by my ear. I wiggled in his embrace and settled in against his firm chest.

"You guys need a room."Jay said with mock disgust. He raised one eyebrow at us and was about to lean back against his tree comfortably when Coan threw his used up cigarette to the side and grabbed him too. Jay was caught next to me with one of Coan's arm heavily against him, struggling to move but held firmly in position.

"Who's weak now?" Coan asked, snickering like a young boy as he held Jay.

"Alright I give. You're a fucking alpha." Jay laughed.

Coan released him and the three of us fell back into the grass, our faces red and staring up at the blue sky. I remember looking up and thinking there had never been a moment so complete and perfect in my life before. My right hand found the edge of Coan's hand and I linked my pinky with his gently. He made no movement to shake me off and there was a smile beginning to form on his face.

Jay threw an arm under my shoulder and let my head rest against it like a pillow. He smirked down at me and I muttered a thanks, resting my head against his familiar arm. The three of us had never been so happy, so satisfied with life. That was one of our happiest days, the one that was filled with blue skies and beautiful music, of the musky smell of smoke and the laughter that rung like bells.

Those were the moments I couldn't forget even if I tried.

 ---

gahhh i think i'm finally breaking through :)

this chapter was just something light. i dont want the story to be too full of sadness. hope you loved this chapter on their friendship as much as i liked writing it. shoutout to the cute three musketeers MJC<3

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