PROBLEMS (Niall Horan Fan-Fiction AU)

Two

He stood in-between the door frame, holding it for  grip as he swung back and forth waiting for me to move. I tore my gaze from him and took three steps back and I pulled the door open so he could step inside my home. His arms fell to the side of his jacket in unison and he took a step inside. My back was against the familiar wallpaper and my gaze was to the floor. I could hear the sound of his footsteps as he walked stopping in front of me. A pair of white Jordan trainers now occupied my gaze. His arms now either side of my body trapping me from escaping. I looked up slowly trying to compose myself to show that I am not afraid. Not anymore. He leaned closer and I could feel my heartbeat increase. His blonde hair brushed against my cheek. His cool breath danced around my collarbone. My breathing became uneven. In…out…in…in…out. Control yourself Effy. His body rested on mine. I could feel how regular his breathing was compared to mine. In…out…in…out. He gave a small deep chuckle which made his body vibrate against mine.

“Are you ready to start living again?” He whispered in my ear before removing his body from mine and scattered off into the living room. My back slid down the wall and I pulled my knees into my chest to steady my breathing. I’ve been waiting for this day for 4 years, 9 months and 12 days. Now that it is here I want to return it. It wasn’t meant to be like this. I was meant to have the upper hand. I was meant to be the one to remind him how much he needed me to survive. I was meant to be winning this sick little game of ours. Not the other way around. Not again. A knock at the door distracted me from my thoughts. I picked myself up and smoothed out the thin material that I was wearing before opening the door. This time it was my father. A smile found its way onto my lips as I threw my arms around his neck. Some may view this gesture as a warm welcoming. Other would view this as a cry for help.   A little girl begging her father to protect her from the hell that she is about to get herself into. He returned my affection and entered the house and I followed. As we walked into the living room, conversation has turned to Niall. A topic I can never escape. Our eyes met as I walked into the room and returned to my previous position. I could see the hint of life in his eyes; the hint of danger and excitement. I turned my attention to my father who had a very annoyed expression plastered on his face. He was not pleased that Niall was here and I for one agree with him.

“Sorry to hear about the band Ni. What are you going to do now you’re back?” My mother started to interrogate him. He was still looking at me. I could feel his eyes burning into me from a distance.

“Oh you know, pick up where I left off. I have some…unfinished business I need to take care of.” He mumbled as he winked at me. I shook my head and began to start a conversation with my brother about anything except Niall. It was coming up to 7pm and my mother called us all into the dining room to eat. Just as I thought; it was Niall’s favourite meal. I ate the meal regardless so I didn’t come across as rude, chewing each bite 36 times before swallowing. The room quickly became empty only occupying myself and Niall. He was sitting opposite me. Could he notice that I was uncomfortable?

“Did you miss me?”   He questioned, resting his elbows on the table with his face in between his hands.

Yes. “No.” I lied.

“You need me.” He stated dragging out the word need. “You need me to help you. You need me more than I need you so you won’t go back to before. You need me to help you feel alive; to experience death.” He was right. I needed him for all those things. I needed him to stop me from doing something terrible.

“You think you’re perfect don’t you. Why are you even here? Why aren’t you with your stupid band in some stupid country making thousands of teenage girls feel special for an hour? Why are you here doing this to me?” I half shouted banging my hands against the table and towering over him. My breathing quickened. Not because of love, but because of hate. I loathed him. I loathed him more than I loved him and he knew that. His warm and welcoming blue eyes turned into a dark and icy colour before gliding over to me and matching me.

“Didn’t you hear? We split…artistic differences. Now I’m back, for good. Back to look after my poor, naïve, damaged Effy. His hand came close to my face and I flinched closing my eyes in the process. I felt his hand graze over my face and tuck a strain of hair behind my ears. I slowly opened my eyes open to see the hurt in his eyes from my reaction.  His eyes turned glossy, as if he was about to cry. A hand ran through his hair and a frown played on his lips.

“Fuck.” That was all he was able to say before he stormed out. 1…2…3…4…5 the front door slammed.  I went back into the living room where my family and the Horan’s were seated. All eyes were on me. All 12 of them. That’s 6 pairs of eyes. 12 eyes stared at me waiting for answers. I looked at each and every one individually. The waves of emotions differed throughout the person. I could see anger from my mother, sympathy from Maura and Bobby, confusion from Greg, laughter from Kyle and satisfaction from my father.  My breathing began to become uneven again. My palms became sweaty and my head started to spin. I’ve been in this predicament before. It was like déjà vu. Everything went in slow motion. The room began to spin. I couldn’t take it. Not again.

“Elizabeth? What happened?” my mother sounded concerned. Just like last time. Tears started to fall down my cheeks like waterfalls. She rushed to my side and tried to hold me. I pushed her away and shook my head violently. My hair started to loosen within the hair-band.  This feeling was all too familiar. I couldn’t stop the feeling no matter how hard I tried. My brother came to my side but I pushed him away also and ran. I ran as far as my legs could take me. I ended up at my safe haven. The one place nobody would think to find me. The one place I knew I wouldn’t see anybody who knew anything about me. My breathing went back to normal. I looked up to the red and gold sign above me. The Old Bird it read. I walked into the familiar building. I swung open the door and walked over to the bar. John, the manager, was behind the bar. He gave me a light smile.

“Long time no see. What brings you here?” he questioned, wiping the bar space in front of me. I gave him a cunning smile. This is it. Now is the time I use my advantages.  

“Can I have a pint please John?”  He looked a little taken back. He is the only one in here that knows everything. He knew everything that has ever happened between us.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I nodded. He shrugged his shoulders and poured me a drink.

“It’s on the house. Glad to see you again.” He smiled.  This one is for you Niall. I thought as I gulped down the alcoholic beverage. It felt good. I enjoyed the cold beverage slide down my throat leaving a bitter after taste in my mouth. I stayed there for a while. A few people tried to call me probably wondering where I am. I refused to answer. For once, I didn’t want to be reminded of the lies in my life. I wanted to feel normal. That would never happen but this is the closest I will ever be.

That was the last time I saw Niall Horan for leisure.  Neither of us knew that the next time our paths crossed it would be life or death. This would ruin us. It would ruin us for the better.