It's Better to Write It Out Then Keeping It In

Truth

I'm going to flat out say it.

I  h a t e  y o u .

I know it's a strong word but that's why I used it. Others might call me harsh or a drama queen for this but I've been keeping my feelings in for too long. You have no idea how annoying it is to be fake and go along with other people just to not hurt someone's feelings.

You hurt me so bad and you STILL play the victim card.

I loved you. I cared about you. I accepted you. You were my best friend. I stood up for you. And you didn't give a shit about me. I trusted you with my feelings and you crushed them. And the fact that you think you're never at fault makes me actually sick. The others are the reason I haven't been HONEST with you. I've said this before and I'll say it again just to make sure you know where I'm coming from.

I had to live with someone who didn't care about me. I lived with this person for four years of my life. I didn't feel safe. Those four years is where I hit the lowest of lows. My self-esteem dropped, I couldn't trust anyone, I hated myself, and I couldn't even feel safe in my own home. The only place I could resort to was school. I loved it there! I didn't have too big of a friend group but at least it was something. That was the only thing I looked forward to during the week. I felt safe. But...every good thing doesn't last forever.

A new girl came to my school and she plopped herself right into my friend group. I was excited for a new friend, but she had other plans. By being in my friend group, she took my place. She stole the only people I felt comfortable with away from me. I'm fine with friends having other friends but this was way too extreme. She would include everyone except me in little or big activities. I even asked her about it and she would turn it down.
They barely even remembered that I existed. The only people that I actually loved forgot about me.

Athazagoraphobia

Almost the same situation happened here, except I felt more safe and you weren't my only friend. ALSO the girl that 'replaced' me actually did care about my feelings and we're still friends to this day. When the signs of that nightmare of situation started playing in my head, I panicked. I didn't want that to happen EVER again. I even talked to you about it and you quickly replied (and shouted in my face) ,"FRIENDS CAN HAVE OTHER FRIENDS!!" You have no idea how much that hit me in the heart. You didn't care about me anymore. My best friend thought I was selfish just because I wanted to talk to you about my feelings. I was shaky and depressed the first couple of weeks but then I soonly reassured myself,"Why should I bother hanging out with someone who doesn't even love me anymore?" I actually opened my eyes and actually got to experience friendships that were actually healthy and balanced...but then...you wanted to hang out with me again. I knew for sure I wasn't gonna let you into my life again just for you to treat me feelings like a play thing. I fastly declined and you made a hissyfit about it.

The bottom line is, I don't like you and I will probably never make myself try to be friends with you again. You're selfish, you only think about yourself, you boast about yourself every chance you get and making that an excuse by saying you have a low self-esteem, you're self-centered, you never cared about anyone, and you're hypocritical. And you STILL wonder why we don't like you. I actually do hope you get you're shit together because there's gonna be so much people like me you're gonna meet in life that don't want deal with you bullshit. And instead of hating me just because I said something against you, look at my side of the story. See that you're not the only one getting hurt. Think about other people instead of yourself for once.