People//year 1

/ Travis /

Today was the luminary parade at arts walk, basically a ton of tourists, families, and preps came out to play OHYEAH let's not forget the most populated social ranking in the Olympia scale; pothead/ druggie. I guess over the years as I felt more vulnerable and risky I had fallen into that paticular catagory. Anyways I had made plans with a nice fellow named Travis he was also under the catagory of stoner/ loner like me so I romanticized the idea of him being in my life, and us having a relationship like Matty Healy did in the robbers video. It really didn't help that he looked just like my favorite person in the entire universe; aka Matty Healy from the 1975. Every time I saw him, his head was swaying or hardcore jamming to techn9ne or system of a down. He had a Mohawk that was long and would sometimes be spiked out. On occasion he would wear a maroon trench coat that brought out his eye color naturally. He would ride his Santa Cruz longboard with independent bearings named "wazoki" to school on nice days (considered to be here in Olympia, was about 60 ish degrees.) He was my favorite person to see passing from 2nd period to 3rd, and later on in life he'd pierce my heart, sort of like when you get an ear piercing and they do it when you least expect it to get you by shock. Like that.

It was about mid April when I randomly sent him a friend request. I was really irked by the idea that I even did that because he didn't even know me at all. A few hours later he messaged me saying

"Do I know you? I don't mean to be rude! Just wondering."

I got butterflies just seeing his name light up my phone. When I read the message I didn't know what to say for about 5 minutes so I lied and just said I clicked the wrong button and whatever

But eventually we got into talking and let's just cut it short because I can get into grave detail about the smiley faces he used and how I was blushing because he was flirting with me. BUT I ended the conversation after about an hour or 3 after it started he said goodnight and

"Text me sometime" followed by his number and a final goodnight.

He was probably the guy of my dreams, in fact I think he was/ is. He was like me, nobody knew who he was and he didn't care. He liked punk music along with some rap and electronic on the side. He liked to smoke weed, he long boards, he's super funny, has a great smile, an adorable laugh, he was insanely cute and sweet and I absolutely fell for him in one conversation. That was all it took for me to be hooked on him.

Remember when he gave me his number? Well about 2 days later I used it I texted him mostly to remind him that I still exsist not that he had forgotten. But just to ensure he hadn't. We continued to talk one conversation for a little over 24 hours straight I mean some breaks here and there but it was one conversation going strong. This went on for about a week and a half when we made plans to have an un-official date. At arts walks luminary parade.

We met at around 7 pm, I met him in the pavillion in Sylvester park. He left his friends for me, well me and wazoki. we walked past people we knew stopping for a quick greeting then moving on. We weaved through the streets of Olympia cruising and stopping to say hey to few friends here and there but for the most parts it was just me and Travis alone. I was nervous but also felt super safe with him, like he could never hurt me. I really liked being in his company with him and his friends. We were making our way to old school pizza to eat but it was crowded to the max so we made our way up to jack in the box, we sat in the back booth. he ordered 2 burgers and I got 5 nuggets and we shared a strawberry fanta. I remember the feeling I felt when I was sitting there across from the boy I always fantasized about. It felt surreal. Normally with boys I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I feel annoying but I felt like he accepted me even if I was shy and didn't say much. I felt his eyes burning into mine when I looked out the window. I made eye contact with him once when I felt the heat of his stare, his eyes were a very pretty mixture of blue, gray and brown. So later when I went to get some ketchup the lady gave us a free chocolate milkshake so we shared that as well. (omg was this a movie or what I truly craved?) After that we walked back downtown and about half way there I got a major shiver attack from how cold it was and he noticed my spaz, he handed me his tye dye sweater (like wtf this is so cliche but I loved every minute) also holy shit when I went to put it on he was watching and I was crused with large boobs so his slim sweater got suck just above my boobs so I glanced at him he was quietly chuckling. I forced the sweater over my boobs and got super embarrassed and kept walking. It was so embarrassing.

We made our way to the artisan well where I met a ton of his friends and we smoked a few joints and cigarettes. Then we tagged along with a few people to go meet up with another group of people to eventually meet up with some one else to go get their girlfriend so we can go get weed. Just as we were about to leave my dad called and said he was on his way to pick me up which sucked ass because I wanted to get fucked up really badly. Especially with Travis.

I told him goodnight and let him know id return his sweater to him on Monday saying that because I was not going to embarress myself even more by taking off the sweater. So he smiled sweet, big and insanely cheeky and skated off to meet back up with is friends.

The next day I laid in bed for hour in his sweater still engulfing myself in the sent of his sweater which smelt of sweet cologne trying very hard to cover up the sent of cigarettes and weed. It smelt so comforting to me knowing that I still had a peice of him even if he wasn't with me.

We stayed in contact after that for about another week and a half talking here and there

Not the usual 24 hour conversation which made me feel like I did something wrong.

I hadn't returned his sweater In weeks

I couldn't. The sweater kept me going I loved the smell so much I slept In it. I wore it to school. I lived in it for a few days. I drew a small ying yang symbol on it in sharpie just in case things went wrong. He'd still have to remember who put that there.

Things did go wrong

He didn't talk to me as often as he used to

He un-friended me

When I asked what went wrong he just said

"Sorry n' shit"

I went to school the next day to see him holding hands, hugging, and kissing a girl if never seen with him before.

Celine.

Some random girl I'd seen maybe once in my life before, Had Romanced Travis.

I was out of the picture.

I can't be completely

My summer job involved seeing him every day and he was also in 3 of my classes next year so I couldn't avoid him.

I wanted so badly to just disappear for a while I felt so betrayed and alone.

I cried out of confusion and frustration. A lot of times. I hadn't crossed his mind.

In ages.

Maybe history needs to repeat it's self.