the sans x reader fanfic that refuses to die

Cooking with Sans! ^-^

"You aren't supposed to squeeze the egg, that's not how you break it," I scolded Sans while I cleaned the counter of egg yolk.
"So..sorry," he replied distractedly. I let out a long, admittedly passive aggressive sigh. His face flushed as he looked at me anxiously.
"Have you ever done this before...?" I asked him, willing to be understanding, seeing the obvious regret on his face.
"I.. I have- I guess I just..." he trailed off, raising his eyebrows. I knew what it meant when he raised his eyebrows like that.
"Sans, whatever you are about to say, no," I tried to stop him.
"Cracked under the pressure," he finished. I stared blankly at him for a good minute or two. I was waiting for an apology and he was waiting for laughter, so we both just stared at each other for a while before we both realized it was time to move on.
"But seriously, why are you so nervous..?" I asked. He paused for a bit. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to figure out what to say.
"I don't know if I can tell you," he stated, grabbing the almond milk. I didn't usually bake with almond milk, but Sans convinced me to try the unconventional ingredient. I generally prefer the conventional, but Sans makes me step out of that bubble and that's something I appreciate.
"You can tell me anything, silly.." I said, playfully rolling my eyes. There was another pause.
"You would laugh," he mumbled.
"I'm your best friend. I won't laugh, I promise!" I attempted to reassure him. He sheepishly looked away, avoiding eye contact.
"It's the dog treats. On the shelf," he said.
"You have a... phobia?" I asked quietly.
"Yes," he hesitantly replied.
"I'll put it somewhere else then, okay?" I said softly. He made a small whimpering noise as I took it from the shelf. I put it in another room quickly before returning with a small, concerned smile.
"Sorry about that..." he apologized.
"I just wish you would've told me, Sans." I shrugged.
"Yeah, sorry... I guess I really..." he paused for dramatic effect and did that stupid but endearing eyebrow raise. I returned the eyebrow raise.
"Screwed the pooch on that one!" He exclaimed.
"You did what to the dog?" I joked, and he let out a strained chuckle. I looked him up and down, thinking up a different theory for why the box of dog treats made him nervous.
"Sans... you wouldn't... lie to me, would you?" I asked smugly. I already knew the answer, but I wanted to see him struggle to find a response.
"Of course not," he stated. I started walking closer to him, watching his shorts start to glow blue. He backed up against the counter and before I could even register what I was doing, I was holding him by the base of his neck as our pelvises pressed against each other.
"Bad puppies don't lie," I whisper in his ear. I feel him get hard instantly and he nearly convulses in excitement.
"Is this what you were afraid of, hm? Me seeing how hard your doggie treat can be made from doggie treats?" I continued whispering in his ear, starting to grind into him. He grabs my waist and growls under his breath.
"Down boy," I pull away, smirking while I eye his member glowing through his pants. He does as he's told and gets down on all fours. I pet his head, dragging my fingers against nape of his neck to feel him shiver. I walked to the closet and watched the expression on his face as I pulled out a collar and leash.
"Would you like me to put this on you, pet?" I asked him sweetly.
"Y-yes..." he choked.
"Take off your clothes and I'll consider rewarding you," I chimed. He hesitated, but again, Sans obeyed me. When he returned to all fours, I clicked the collar around his neck. I grabbed the vegetable oil and sat down next to him. I poured a bit in my hand and rubbed them together slowly, holding eye contact authoritatively. I paused for a bit at his thigh bone, sliding teasingly up. I grabbed his shaft, pumping up and down. He wobbled as he released a chorus of moans.
"Who's your master, Sans?" I asked him as I stroke his glowing, blue boner.
"Nnnghh.. you, you are," he whimpers as blue plasma drips from his cock. I know it won't be long until he's finished. I pull him up by his leash to kiss him, quickly pumping up and down.
"You can have cummies now, you've been a good boy," I whisper into his ear. He grabbed the counter, desperately trying to regain balance as he came into my hand, and spilled a small bowl of nuts. I already saw it coming.
"Don't," I warned him, but I knew there was no way he'd give up an opportunity like this.
"I nutted!" Sans grinned.