Ema - so what are you typing Mr. Edgeworth
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters- *fucking explodes*
Ema - can I read it?
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters- no
Ema- why not?
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters- is bad
Ema - bad like /bad/ or bad like trashy
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters- Lana please
Lana- (on phone) hello yes big orange power man It's chief prosecutor Lana Skye can you please send someone to arrest me because I am a horrible person
Ema -Lana no
Lana- Lana yes
Ema- Lana no
Ema- you're the only one I have left
Lana- .. Lana very much yes
Ema- gdi guess I'll pie
Ema- or find your old school friend to get you out of this HAHAHA *runs off*
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters- old school friend?
Lana- I believe she means Ms. Mia Fey. We went to law school together.
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters - you are aware she was murdered?
Lana- Wat
Miles- Lana I was literally the prosecution on that case, Fey & co. Law Offices is now Wright & co. Law Offices, her understudy took on the business.
Ema- (in distance) EDGEWORTH YOU SAY IT LIKE YOU'RE NOT GAY AS SHIT FOR PHOENIX
Miles- SlAnDeR
Ema- IT'S NOT SLANDER IF IT'S TRUE
miles- ItS nOt TrUe If ItS fAlSe
Ema- IT'S NOT FALSE IF I KNOW IT'S TRUE
miles- yOu DoNt KnOw ItS tRuE iF yOu DoNt HaVe PrOoF
Ema- I HAVE PROOF IF I MAKE PROOF
Miles- pAh!
Ema- YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY SKILLS
Lana- you literally thought the security office was a cafe
Ema- I never said I was street smart
Miles- *gets image text from ema*
Miles- yOu soN of a bucket of chicken nuggets on a boat
Ema- how dAre you insult chicken nuggets like that
Ema- chicken nuggets are the best thing in this life, I will choose them over burgers and fries, every time
Miles- have fun trying to hang out with what remains of the Feys
Lana- who does remain?
Miles- Maya, and any other family outside of Japanifornia City. Maya's pretty big on burgers.
Miles- EmA sTOp I unDeRStaNd yoU cAn phOtOShop eNTiRely tOo WeLl
Ema- that's what happens when you underestimate my skillllls
Lana- this is what happens when you fail the psat
Ema-HEy nO this is what happens when they force the psat
Lana- you need to take the sat to go to a college and you need college to be a forensic scientist
Ema- not if I don't leave the state
Lana- but what if there's a good forensics school out of state
Ema- but if I leave Japanifornia I may lose my chance to be a part of the fun drama that resonates from this state
Miles- "fun" drama
Ema- yes there's bad drama, like "(blank) did (such-and-such) to (so-and-so)" and then there's good drama, like "(thing) needs fixing and here's how we can fix it" and then there's fun drama, like a couple of gay lawyers and old bag's bloodstorm
Miles- you mustn't speak her name you'll summon her and she'll cast rage and no one can beat Oldbag's rage and also no u
Ema- I don't think you understand how the no u thing works
Miles- according to the people's of the Internet that's how you respond to being called gay
Ema- no that's what you do if someone says your mom has the big gay
Lana- be nice to him Ema he's boring
Miles- uhm pardon
Lana- see! Words like that, boring. Be a little less eloquent maybe then you won't seem so boring
Miles- I'm not boring I like fun things
Ema- like tea and kids shows and writing gay shit about yourself and fucking scarring your gay lover
Miles- I do not write about myself or scar people
Ema - "Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death" is p scarring but your sister is a little more physically scarring if that's more what you were thinking
Miles- literally where are we in the timeline
Ema- idk but breaking the 4th Wall is kinda frowned apon so we should prolly stop
Miles- but like earlier Lana just figured out Mia died but now we're talking about Franziska and the Bloodstorm
Ema- you either gotta say her full name or say like Fran or something because like if you don't say the full name there's no chance of summoning her but like if you just say Franziska it's too formal
Miles- hi I'm Miles Edgeworth, I don't think we've met, I'm an overly formal prosecution attorney
Ema- hi I'm Ema Skye I'm a skyentific high school student, and I'm more book smart than street smart but if you fuxing betray me I'll beat the shit out of you
Lana- what's up I'm lana, I'm 20-something, and I never learned how to fuxing adult
Ema- no stop you aren't a millenial I'm meant to be the relateable one
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters- please, ema, you're the comedic relief, like Maya and Pearl before you.
Ema- IM ONLY 15 BUT MY MIND IS OLDER GOTTA BE MY OWN MAN, LIKE MAYA BUT BOLDER! I SHOULDER THE SIDEKICK LEGACY WITH PRIDE! I USED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT SOMEDAY I WOULD BLOW THEM ALL AWAY! I'm looking for a Mr Phoenix wright, wrote a speech in under a week, I'm a freestyle speaker. He's the only one who can spare Lanas name from the crowds, and I need that, I'm making my sister proud!
Miles- I saw him dressed up, grossberg, couple of blocks, he was going to his office.
Ema- well I'll go visit his box
Lana- god, you're an idiot
Ema- and you need to be a better sister, when I get back, you better say you missed me
Miles- Blow us all away!
Ema- that was the gayest thing you've ever said
Miles - Wat
Ema- you know /youre/ the prosecution on this case and you know /phoenix/ is the defence and I don't need good luck finding a big name office and - you just like losing to Phoenix at this point don't you?
Lana- that was on the level of "potato has 3 vowels and 3 times 4 is 12 and 12 divided by 4 is 3 and there are 3 sides on a triangle and triangles are symbols of the illuminati and potatoes are illuminati"
Miles- was saying Lana is a bad sister the end of the song ?
Ema- no but I don't like the ending to that song
Miles- that was at the songs halfway point?
Ema- oh cause you can tell the future?
Miles- bich watch me
Miles- (ema- Mr Phoenix wright? Phoenix- I'm not taking cases right now. Ema- but I really need your help my sister won't be around if you don't. phoenix - did you not hear what I just said? I said I'm not taking cases, go get someone else to help. Ema- but no one will! Phoenix - I said no, I'm not fooling around, you're just a schoolgirl anyhow. Ema- I'll see you in the courtroom then, that is, unless you wanna come to the detention centre right now. Phoenix - all right, all right I'll help you, now let's go, before time runs out)
Ema- um
Ema- how do you know he'll be like that
Miles- because he always is, he'll brush off cases like he doesn't need to pay rent until there's a little girl dragging him along. it's quite pathetic, really.
Ema- "like he doesn't need to pay rent"?
Miles- he has a life outside of his office and the courtroom, and lawyers need to take cases in order to make any money. If lawyers just made money by sitting in their office organizing files, there'd be a lot more caseless lawyers, wouldn't there? And with a bunch of caseless lawyers, no one would feel the need to take cases cause they could just sit around their office all day and then nothing would get done.
Maya- I'm not a little girl, I'm practically nick's manager
Miles- excuse me, back to kurain with you. It's emas turn today. And everyday. Until this long ass case closes. Dear god.
Ema- it can't possibly be that long a case? The dystopian legal system won't allow cases longer than 3 days
Miles- no, but get ready for the longest 3 days of your life, like, 4 day long days at best
Lana- you actually calculated out a narumitsu case length?
Miles- roughly and don't call it that
Ema- would you rather she say wrightworth?
Mileshasgoodmannersandthatswhatmatters - no
YOU ARE READING
some ace attorney thing
Fanfictionidk I was writing a skit and it turned into this might update if I write more idk