Don't get me started on...Wannabe's!

Don't get me started on wannabe's! Wannabe a hero, wannabe a pop star, wannabe a princess wannabe old Pat the darn postman but not myself! Why do people have an obsession of becoming someone who they're not? Is it really necessary to act like anyone else but not yourself? Don't they get tired? Don't be shocked if you bump into a wannabe celebrity in your locality.

For example, yesterday, a normal sunny July morning I look out of my window to be greeted by the never changing city centre view from my second floor bedroom. When lo behold, who do I see waltzing past the local curry shop? Justin Beiber! Yes Justin Beiber, the teenage heart throb, Mr angel voice! My eyes did a double take and I ended up with a crick in my neck because of straining to get a good look. Now you may all think what a lucky woman I am to see the teenage sensation walk right outside Bilal's Curry Shop, (the same curry shop that I ordered four for a pound chapatti's from), BUT NO think again. Once I had managed to do extraordinary gymnastics with my neck, achieving a 45 degree angle and got a full on view of Mr J.B, my excitement disappeared faster than samosas on a plate, for who had I been day dreaming about? It wasn't Justin Beiber but with the copy of his mop haircut and style of clothes it was some pimpled, pale faced lad who wouldn't have a chance at centre stage... not with that nose.

It's not just wannabe celebrity's that get my frillies in a twist; they're at the bottom end of the wannabe group. I wouldn't even blame them for wanting to look like a celebrity at least celebrities are well dressed (most of the time). What is more annoying is the average guy on the road, dressed in a hoody top, fake Addidas bottoms, decked from head to toe in huge aluminium chains with pendants the size of Bilal's special kebabs, chewing gum with such ferocity that even a cow would feel the competition! Who are these guys? Well say hello to the wannabe "gangster". Yes, "gangster", "the don", "the G", heck they even call themselves "big fish"! These self-proclaimed "gangsters" spend their time hanging in town centres acting all cool, mysterious and suspicious. Terrorising grannies out for an early shop, smoking, spitting, conducting themselves in a manner not of a civilised society and to top it all, speaking in a foreign language which only they understand - slang. Here are a few examples of this incredibly confusing, high tech jargon:

"Wag waan blad?"

"don't be tripping me man"

"wassup homie?"

" Gonna put ma swagga where da lights is enit!'

I would love to translate, but I don't have a clue!

Whilst I'm on the topic of linguistic skills, what really gets up my nerve are wannabe Mr or Miss posh! Yes those individuals who feel the need to adopt an accent, not of their locality, to sound and seem of the upper class. It's not just their accent that changes, but it almost seems as though they've swallowed the entire Collin dictionary and proceed to spit out the most complex of words that I'm sure even the queen of England will have trouble understanding. You tend to find these snobbish individuals at a family wedding. Where you make a beeline for the coca cola at the drinks table, emptying half its contents in one go, whilst standing next to you will be cousin so and so, holding the plastic cup in such a dignified manner as though they are at a fine dining restaurant! They won't have coke in the plastic cup, but sparkling water. After looking at you in a condescending manner, they will continue to list their entire auto biography without being asked, don't be surprised if you hear the phrase 'grammar school' and 'mummy'. Here's a typical example: 'mummy thinks that currently grammar schools do not appreciate the intellectual capacity of certain individuals, do you concur?' It's only once you've excused yourself, to relieve your body of extensive fluids, do you bump into the cousins 'mummy' and realise that they in fact never made it in to grammar school because they failed to excel and show their OWN "intellectual capacity" and No, I don't "concur!"

I guess I could go on and on about wannabes, for they come from all walks of life. They wear a mask of pretence day in day out, waking up as themselves but spending the day as another individual. Maybe they can't face up to the reality of who they are? Their self-esteem reduced to shreds that they take comfort from being someone who they wish they were. So should we really get annoyed by such wannabe's? Are they really deserving of my rant or should I feel sorry for them and pity such individuals?