Choices

Chapter 3

That day was the day it all began.

I remember a few specific times in my years at Hogwarts that were really emotional, and have helped shape me into the person I am.

I remember, after she and I had gotten off the train, how I thought she was beautiful with the sun shining just right on her and making her eyes shine. I didn't tell her of course, I mean, I knew I was bi, but you can't just walk up to someone and say 'hey, you really pretty. Want to date me?'

So, I spent as much time as I could with her. We would walk down the halls together inbetween classes, we would go to the room of requirement and mess around in the carnival that we made. I learned that she loves her father and that nargles are real. I learned that she uses a special magic conditioner so she can easily brush her hair and make it really soft. I learned that no matter what I did, I was falling in love with her.

Every day was torture. I couldn't tell her how I felt, I'm a Slytherin. I don't have Gryffindor bravery,  Hufflepuff kindness or Ravenclaw smarts. I was nothing, a girl that was afraid, put in the house that she belonged, where she was nothing and will never be anything.

When I was with her though, I felt like I was something, that I mattered. That someone could care about me.

The next year, our relationship grew into something more. She and I were always purposely 'accidentally' brushing our hands and arms against each other, then turning pink and looking at each other.

The year after that we finally confessed to each other how we felt. It turned out that she had fallen for me too, although I had always had trouble seeing how.

We held hands, she showed me the threstrals, she helped me through tough classes.

This one particular day though, we were walking down the hall and some first year came up to us and called Luna a 'loony slut and a ho'. I had gotten really angry and shot stupefy at them. Luna my love had had to drag me down the hall to the room of requirement.

As soon as we walked in my pride was gone and I broke. I had sunk to my knees on the floor and sobbed. I knew that no one would ever accept us. Especially since I was a nobody. Luna had comforted me, and when I was feeling better she put her forehead to mine and said,"You'll always be someone to me. Forever." And then she kissed me.

It was electric, it sent tingles through my whole body and down deep in my soul.

Sixth year, when Dumbledore died, she had been in tears for weeks. I had cuddled her and helped her through it, because I would just be a typical Slytherin if I didn't.

Seventh year, the war, was when everything broke.

I had been friends with Draco ever since I was born. I never felt any love for him, other than like a brother to me. I still don't.

He had confided in me that he had fallen in love with Harry Potter. I had seen it coming of course, I have a perfect gaydar. I mean, Draco is pan and has been forever, but you know what I mean.

When Hagrid had brought Harry out and Voldemort had said he was dead, I watched Draco's reaction. His face had kept the signature Malfoy indifference, but I knew him better than that. Inside, I knew he was breaking. I swore I could have heard it. His eyes lost the usual spark and charisma that he usually had, and he essentially looked lifeless.

I felt so sorry for him, but kept my face emotionless as he turned to meet my eyes. He wouldn't want my pity, it would hurt his pride too much.

When his parents called to him, I turned to my love and said, "You will always be someone to me. Forever." She looked put off a bit and slightly confused, but I hadn't had time to explain. I kissed her passionately, knowing I would never feel like this, with her, ever again. Then I turned a and snuck out with the Malfoys, accepting the destiny my parents had set out for me. To this day, I have not seen the love of my life since.