Is Change So Bad ( Evil Deku )

That Morning

I suggest listening to the song above while reading it heightens the experience when reading in my opinion.

Edited

Izuku POV

I wake up and look in the mirror. All I see is a disappointment. I am a disaster waiting to happen. All Might trusts me with the future of one for all. He wants me to become the new symbol of peace. It's scary to think that if I mess up everything could go into chaos. If I die, I wouldn't  be able to pass on this power to the next successor. Just look at me, three more stressing moves on my arms and I'll be disabled! I won't be able to use my arms anymore. I am hopeless how can I allow myself to be hurt this badly. 

I finally get up and put my clothes on and head to class.on my way, I accidentally bump into kacchan. "Watch it Deku," he shouts at me. I have always wondered why he hated me so much, he even said I could never become a hero. And now I'm starting to doubt myself. What if he is right and I was never meant to be a hero? 

The demons keep trying to destroy me. I put up walls to keep the dark thoughts away, but they keep breaking them and destroying my positive emotions. My wall of positive emotions has been getting weak. I'm starting to have to get back on my depression pills. I remember having to take them all the time in middle school. Mom was always worried because I would end up hurting myself. She would ask if I was alright and I would always tell her that I'm fine. I try not to worry her so much.

The pills just make me feel numb. I don't feel the war going on inside my head. It's like it has stopped. I listen to the teacher but don't hear the words coming out of his mouth. I can't focus on anything right now. My brain is shut down and trying to fix the walls inside my head with the limited supplies it has to fend off my demons. When class ends, I walk down the hallway feeling nothing, feeling empty. These pills always make it harder for me to smile and laugh.

 Todoroki walks up to me and asks, "Hey, are you alright? You look sort of out of it?"  "Yeah, I'm fine," I reply and throw on my best smile. I don't think he believed me.  I can feel his look of concern burn through the back of my head as I walk away. I sped up my pace, just trying to get away from the judgment and pressure. I guess I was on autopilot, not knowing where I was heading or where to go. I just wanted to escape. Somehow, I ended up on the roof.