Five Years

"I will hold onto you everyday"

Choi Sooji sat in an auditorium, surrounded by giggling girls. She smiled along with them as she picked up her pencil to modify her sheet music. The sight of the snapped lead, however, took her away from the auditorium to a time in the past. 

She smiled as she thought of Lee Sejoo and how he always cared for her cello, going so far as to make sure her pencil was always sharpened. She thought of his stupid contract, asking her to hire him as her assistant. 

'Where are you now, Crazy Sejoo?", she thought to herself. She thought of him less often now, compared to the first three years when he occupied a large portion of her thoughts. That wasn't to say he didn't remain in the back of her mind. He did. And she often wondered what would have happened, if she had asked him to stay with her the night she overdosed on those pills. 

Everything had gone wrong then and it had seemed like her life was crashing down. She had spent a year, wallowing in her misery, alone to her thoughts, only making time to eat and play cello. But, on her birthday the following year and every year after that, a bouquet of anemones were delivered to her, no indication of who sent it, or where it had come from, except the card that read, "Happy Birthday, Sooji Queen." That was what gave her the courage to finally seek help, going to a therapist diligently for the next three years. 

"Soojiiiiii, flower delivery for you", a girlish voice broke her out of her thoughts. She looked up, surprised.  Her birthday wasn't for another month. 

"Lee Sejoo's flowers came early this year", she thought to herself before taking a look at the note inside. She stared at the writing, her heart beating faster. "Where did you get this?", she asked the underclassman who shrugged and pointed outside, "Some guy asked me to give it to you. I assume it's one of your many admirers?" she wiggled her eyebrows. Sooji forced herself to laugh before excusing herself from the group, "I have to go the bathroom. I'll be back for practice." 

Once she was out of sight, she started running towards the exit and there, she caught sight of his back. 

"Kwon Sihyun." she said, barely a whisper. 

"Sihyun-ah", she said, louder this time, causing him to stop and turn around. A moment passed as they stared at each other, before both burst into laughter. It wasn't long before Sooji felt the tears on her face. 

"I have only been back for 5 minutes, and I've already made you cry", he said, as he started walking towards her. Once he reached her, he enveloped her in a hug, "I'm sorry. Sooji, I'm sorry for everything." 

"I'm sorry too", Sooji managed to say, in between her sobs, causing Sihyun to shake his head, "You have nothing to be sorry about."

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Sooji stared at the man infront of him, and he stared back at her. They had been catching up for the past hour.  They had talked through some difficult things, agreed that they were both immature and hurt in the past and that all was forgiven. 

"I still can't believe you're really here. It's been five years. Have you met Tae hee yet?" she asked him. 

"I can barely believe it myself", he smiled, "not yet. I'm planning on seeing her soon though." He looked at her with a worried look in his eyes but that shifted to gratitude at her next words. 

"I hope it works out, Sihyun", she said with an encouraging smile, "I really hope you get to be happy this time. You deserve it." 

Sihyun mirrored her smile, "You deserve happiness too, Sooji. That's why I'm here. I know where he is. I found Sejoo." 

Sooji felt her heartbeat quicken and forced herself to speak, "where is he?"

"Japan. He started his own sushi bar, and opened up several branches. I was there while studying abroad during my last year in college and I bumped into him when I walked into his sushi joint. We talked and hung out while I was there. I tried to get him to contact you, but he was too guilt stricken over not being able to protect you." 

Sooji sighed, "That wasn't his fault. I wasn't in the right state of mind. I need to see him." 

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Sooji leaned back onto the taxi seat. She could barely sleep on her flight to Tokyo. She kept thinking about him. "It's been five years. What if he's changed?" she had worried incessantly. She looked down at her phone and laughed at herself. She had no way of contacting him so she had emailed him pictures and videos of herself and her new life. But he had never once replied to her. 

She broke out of her thoughts as the taxi lurched to a stop. It was late and she wasn't even sure he would be here at this time. Endless worries crowded her mind but she shook her head, "It's now or never. You're here, might as well try." 

She pushed open the door and heard the bell above it tinkle. He was there, facing away from the door. She heard him put down his glass and sigh and mutter something in Japanese before turning to look at her. 

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Lee Sejoo sat, frozen. The image in front of him could not be real. "Am I finally going crazy? How is it that I see her here?" He stood, trying to confirm whether this was real, or just a cruel figment of his imagination. 

Sooji could barely move. All she did was stand there, smiling at him. After what felt like eternity, her body moved of its own accord. She walked towards him, her steps ringing in her ears before finally reaching him and putting her arms around his waist. She breathed in his familiar scent and closed her eyes, "It's been too long, Lee Sejoo." 

Sejoo stood there, eyes wide. She felt so real. He was almost afraid to let himself hope. "Sihyun told me where you were", he heard her mumble. At that, he pulled her closer, smiling through his tears as he told her, "good job, Sooji queen." He felt her sigh and hug him tighter, neither of them willing to let go. 

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Sejoo and Sooji sat face to face, at the bar. It had been three hours since that first, tear-filled reunion and Sooji had refused to let go his hand, her fingers intertwined in his (not that he wanted her to let go). They had spoken about everything and everyone, trying to catch up and fit everything that had happened to them in the five years. Sooji learnt that Sejoo had received every single email that she had sent him, and even more, he had bought every single CD she had ever produced and had downloaded videos of all of her concerts. Sejoo learnt that Sooji had looked forward to his flowers every year, and that she had gone to visit his mother in the hospital every weekend, in his stead. 

"Sooji, about that night...", Sejoo began. 

"Don't you dare say you're sorry. It wasn't your fault." Sooji cut him off. 

Sejoo looked at her, "I.. I need to apologize." Sooji sighed as she listened to him try to continue, "I..I'm s-", Sooji grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. She didn't know what compelled her to do it. It was almost like that first time she had kissed him, except this time, she had wanted to do it. 

When she pulled away, she looked at him,"Sejoo-yah, this, I was wrong. This doesn't mean nothing to me, I shouldn't have said that to you then and I've waited five years to do this, to be here, in your arms, so don't apologize to me." 

She saw Sejoo smile, "I've waited for so long" as he inched his face closer to hers. Resting his forehead on hers, he smiled even wider, like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, before closing in to steal another kiss.