It's 3 in the morning, the confusion of my thoughts and their sequence in my head keeps me away from sleeping another time but now I almost feel my eyelid closing because of the months in withdrawal of sleep.
Finally I let myself go into the warm arms of the sleep that hugs my tired limbs and I fall in this dimension I haven't visited for so long.
You know, sleep is a present that someone gave us at our birth, like happiness, we can choose to use them or is the faith that denies them to us.
In my case it is the faith that punished me taking away my sleep and my smile.
But sleep is a carrier of dreams, mystic worlds that live in our head, made of hopes, possibilities and fears.
Fears.
Fears.
Fears.
What is fear?
The dictionary says:
"an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm."
Does this definition mean something to you? For me nothing.
These are empty and shallow words, used to describe the instinctive fears of the human soul, not considering the ones buried in the bottom of our heart , hoping to lose them and always recovering them.
In nightmares.
Nightmares, opponents of the dreams, fleeting moments when our buried fears come up, concentration of feelings and memories, projections of a shapeless and uncertain future, falls of the soul, that slowly sinks in its deepest worries, carved and seared, indelibles.
I wake up panicked, tears falling from my eyes and the silent promise not to let myself go again into the deceit of the sleep.
Night is the moment I hate the most, once I looked forward to it, it was the dark partner of my evenings in the car in the moonlight, with the light breeze that stroked my naked arms, the endless parties, the vodka drank watching the stars, the incredible taste of danger that night remarked.
Now from that I just keep a deep nostalgia that kills me inside, now I hate the way the night takes you away from life, takes you to her world of darkness without any way out, you can just hear the noise of your thoughts that overlap, the regret of an unfinished life, interrupted in the middle.
My whole life is a night, before there was the day, happiness, thoughtless joy of being me, then suddenly life has been conquered by darkness, fears and tears.
I saw it all again.
I saw him, them.
