Can't Believe It

"Broken Scars" Chapter 7

God, here I am in the bed once again.

I look around trying to find something that has the time.

Jesus Christ, it's 3 in the freaking morning. What the heckle hell?

Well, my senses were correct. I just didn't know it was going to be that fucking much. My dad Cleveland Brown returned from Family Guy and told me he was going to make my life a living hell. I saw a video of my mom giving my dad a blowjob on command because I'm not wanting to do what he tells me to do. I fought the whole fucking hospital. I need to find out what going to happen to my knee because the stitches busted open on my first go around with the staff. Then to top off the shitload sundae, I have to find out what the fuck bloodline has to do with finding my goddamn mother. Like, what the fuck?

"Ahh, shit." I hold my head in my palm and close my eyes tight. "Dammit, that was like a whole bulldozer just destroyed my brain waves." I open my eyes again. "Fuck, I hope this nurse is on their way." I softly talk to myself and let my arm fall from my head onto my messed up knee.

My head hurts like shit and my knee is hurting like hell. All I wanted to do was see my son. Is that SO HARD to ask? Shit heads still haven't told me where my son is. Is he that bad? Is he that banged up? Did the car wreck hurt him that much that he is unrecognizable? What the fuck have I done? What if I don't get to see my baby boy again? What if he lost something like his arm. Oh...My...FUUCCKK! Jesus Christ! What if he isn't here at all and he didn't make it through. Or they couldn't save him, they were too late. I would never forgive myself. I would seriously kill myself right here. There would be no stopping me. I can't believe I let this happen. All I had to do was keep my eyes on the road. All I had to fucking do was be a good mother. I couldn't even do that. Now, my son is suffering the consequences that I made with my mistake. I don't even know if he suffering anymore. Maybe he is already gone. Away from the pain. Away from his mother. Maybe he-

"Okay, Ms. Rose, thank you for putting half the staff in the hospital. I honor you for that." The doctor that injected me comes in and shuts the door. He bows in mockery of me. I scoff at him.

"Y'all bastards had it coming. You never did tell me where my son is. Still haven't told me actually and I am still waiting. I am going insane in here. I asked a simple question, didn't I, Doc? All I want to know is if my son is okay. That is all I want to know. That would be enough (HAMILTON). Hell, that would be enough for me to sleep peacefully if you say he is okay." I speak softly. Pleading him. Begging him to tell me the information about my child.

He walks closer to my bed and sits in the chair that is next to me. He looks down in his lap finding his clipboard interesting. He says in a low and monotone voice, "What if he's not?" Looks back up at me with his green eyes.

I shake my head not believing what he said. At the same time I had this coming. I had this curse swept upon me. I began to shake uncontrollably and tears start to stream.

"They said that he was really damaged. The impact had fractured his skull and broke his neck. He was too far to save. We tried everything to save him but he was already gone. I am so sorry. If I could of done something to revive him, I would. Actually anything" He says sympathetically. I start balling my eyes out. I never knew I could cry this much. I shook my head in disbelief.

"I don't believe you." I say repeatedly.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but it's true." He nods his head in agreement to himself that he was telling the truth.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye. The last thing I did was fight with him. I didn't even get to apologize to him but he apologized to me. Right before I went out, I remember that he said sorry. I will always remember tha-" I was interrupted by laughter.