———————————
Green: Sometimes I wish to have a guy like
"Inserts Red's face"
Red: Hey
Green: No
Red: I am literally the guy in the pic-
———————————
Red: Dude, Buttholes are like pockets, you can like store stuff up and keep them safe
Green: No they are not, do not do that
———————————
Green: Yo man I'm at the store, ya need anything?
Red: Worm on a string
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Green: The fuck's wrong with you
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Red: What did the penny say to the other penny?
Green: Oh my fucking god please don't
Red: Does this make any
Green: Red I won't hesitate to slap you-
Red: Cents?
Green: I disown your whole existence
———————————
Red: I need some advice
Green: Love advice? Trust me, I'm the expert. I'm experienced with everything
Gold: LOL SAYS THE GUY WHO'S STILL A VIRGIN
———————————
Red: *Wearing those "choking hazard undies"*
Green: Isn't that what you put on small objects?
Red: I-
———————————
Green: I'm straight
*Sees Red smiling happily waving to him*
Green: ....holy fuck I'm gay now
———————————
Red: So my Dad told me how to get girls, he's a rapper
Green: Oh really?
Red: Yeah I'll show you *Clears throat*
AYO BITCH-
———————————
Green: I mean, yeah we're best friends, but I'll fuck you if you asked
Red: What?
Green: What-?
Blue: HE SAID HE'LL FUCK YOU IF YOU ASKED
———————————
Green: Hey Red
Red: Sorry I have a Boyfriend
Green: oK fiRsT oF AlL I aM tHat bOyfriEnD-
———————————
Red: I bet I can fit the whole world into my hands
Green: That would be physically impossible-
Red: *Cups Green's face* You sure?
Green: ok first of all, I'm very touched
Second of all, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOUR HANDS SO SWEATY-
———————————
Green: So now we stick to Pokémon training and all our mistakes are behind us
Red: Just like your cargo shorts hahah
Green: Just like your ex
———————————
[ Texting ]
Green: ♥️
Red: 3>
Red: Wait how do you turn the three?
Green: Omfg
Red: Ɛ>
Green: What the fuck-
———————————
Welp that's all for now, I'll think about more 😂
I might do other ships next time owo
