"I always thought it was crazy how the decisions we make lead us to the very moment we are in right now. The moment i'm writing this and the moment you're reading. Maybe we're here for the same reasons, maybe it's destiny or fate but why would fate lead me to heartbreak. They say it's to grow as a person but I wanna call bullshit because in the span of 2 years one man broke my heart a thousand times and i've only grown an inch. Ok so maybe now is not the time to be making jokes but whens the time coming? I'm sick of being sad all the time I just wanna laugh and I feel like my timer is coming to an end.
I was like a flower waiting for spring. Waiting to come back to life but what I didn't see is that I wasted all my water on you even when you said you had none for me. I hope life treats you well. I pray to god you'll see me again. Whether that on the big screen or in the fleet, but when I see you i'll try not to fall at your feet. I wish you the best my rose. Keep growing and show everyone who ever doubted you who the fuck you're meant to be. A great man that's all I've ever seen."
I'll buy new clothes and i'll chop my hair off but where do I start the memories over? Where do I lose the parts of me that you have touched? And this is where I fucked up. Edwin and I didn't work, something was missing there and it had to be the worse thing to ever happened to me.
How do you fall in love with someone but not find the missing piece?
So here I am, sitting looking at my phone thinking how dumb I am because I went to a high school party, got drunk and texted William. If It could get any worse than this tonight please let me know. This needs to stop here, me missing you and me being in love with you, that all needs to end right here, right now. Flowers can't bloom when there are weeds blocking them from the sunlight and that's exactly what our love is to me at this point, just some stupid weed. And in the wise words of my best friend, "weeds don't need that much water to grow." I'm not mad at you. I don't hate you. I'm mad at how much love I gave you, I'm mad that i don't hate you but I love you, I hate that the love for you will never stop it'll just dim down and the fire for someone else will begin to spark up. This time I'll pray to god that it's real and it's true. I'll pray to god that he does not fill your shoes but instead brings a new pair because he's bigger and better than you could ever imagine to be. Take the size thing as you may. But leave me alone and get the fuck out of my way.
You say you'll see me on the big screen but you want me to be laid back like I'm already famous. You were a lesson and a blessing, trust me you were. When the man upstair threw you at me he was telling me that I needed to learn. Learn that love is not to be thrown away like yesterday's newspaper but it also isn't meant to be given away with such ease like Halloween candy, that not everyone deserves to read my stories or to know who the girl behind them is. My love is gold, no fuck that, my love is solid silver, it will never go out of style and when you realize you just got caught up chasing your gold girl you're gonna see everyone's already had her, gonna learn that everything that glitters ain't gold and that you should've stuck with your solid silver cherry blossom but go on baby, chase that gold rose but when you see her love was wilting don't dare to come back to see the rarest bloom. You get to see that shit once in a lifetime and you're gonna miss out but that's ok because me and the ninja spies...they have my back so we're gonna be just fine. But hey don't listen to me, I'm just a drunk kid. You know what they say about drunk people though, they always tell the truth. But don't remind me that I told you I loved you in the morning because that's what i'm drinking to forget.
