I Almost Forgot Him

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There are few possible twists in a story.

One: you fell in love, met his brother, fell in love with his brother, cheat, forgive, happily ever after.

Two: you fell in love, discovered you have cancer, marry him, die.

Three: you fell in love, a car accident happened, he died. You live life hell, met a guy resembling your guy, fell in love again, he realized he is just a copycat, you proved your love, boom! Happy ending!

All of this cliche love story are common. I have read them in books. Game of thrones even have its fair share of 'clicheness', and yet they seem better to me than my own story.

Living a life that fucks you is awesome. Notice the sarcasm.

You ran from hell. And when you're almost out, just a little step towards that damn fucking door, you are pulled back using a thin thread. Some people call it destiny, i call it my unlucky charm.

I sigh.

I look at the sceneries outside. The place is so pretty. Vast green lands. And since it's the month of flowers, there are different colors that paints the land. A sigh escaped from my lips again.

I think i should just accept bankruptcy. That is much more better than this.

I closed my eyes and i was easily brought back to what my heart wants to forget...

I have been waiting for the architect to arrive. No he is not late. Just almost. This is what i don't like about outside our company arrangements. The hassles of waiting. Meeting strangers. The adjustments. So many works to do.

I have great architects in my company. And we could offer cheaper price! Why do they need to demand this architect!

If only this is not a breakthrough project for our company, i won't be succumbing to their unneeded demands.

"Engr. Heart Rosales?"

I stood to face a young architect. His wearing a blue long sleeve, which looks good given his tall and manly physique, and a warm smile that made me guilty for thinking bad about him.

I smiled. "Architect Sebastian Carter?" I offered my hand.

"Nathan Lim. Associate Architect." He accepted my hand. "Mr. Carter is still having troubles finding a parking space but he'll be here in a minute. I am so sorry for the delay."

I nod. I didn't deny or say it wasn't a hassle. I hate hypocrisy. "Shall we sit?"

"Sure-sure." He's all smile which made our start less awkward. "So tell me Ms. Rosales, how did Dr. Drew convinced you to accept us? No offense but i know were good but you have your architects."

I like his guts. "Well, he's been very persistent. I can't say a word to bad mouth your company since you have a reputation to uphold."

He laughed. "I think this partnership will be great."

Before i could reply, a familiar man appeared in sight. Since the resto is a bit dim, i can't see him clearly. There was something familiar about him.

I shake the thought out of my mind and smiled at Mr. Lim. I forgot what we were talking about.

"Nathan."

"Speaking of the devil." Mr. Lim stood.

I was aiming to stand as well but all my senses left me. A familiar ache in my chest resurfaced. My ribs hurt from how loud and fast my heart is moving. A lump in my throat unable me to speak.

I didn't hear anything except when Nathan said..

"...Sebastian Carter. He's our boss architect."

A twist like this is too much for me. My heart that has been frozen long time ago suddenly started shattering right before my eyes.

Here in front of me, stands a nightmare i wanted to forget and when i thought i was succeeding, he showed up without knocking.

Fucking ten years. And he's back again.

"You can call me Seb, Engr. Rosales. Nice to meet you."

Oh. Did i forget to mention? This man in front of me, who happens to be my first love, can't remember me. It was a twist i never expected.

Fuck amnesia.

"Ms. Rosales are you crying?" Nathan's voice woke me up.

Shit one million times.

I sigh.

"That's your nth times sigh, H." My business partner, who is also an engineer like me, notice my frustration.

"Should we just go bankrupt, Cinds?"

"Not a chance." She sat properly and faced me, "I cannot understand you. You said you don't know the guy, yet you made a drama, went out of that goddamn place, cried like a baby and asked me to substitute you like this is some damn basketball game."

I closed my mouth. Cindy and i met five years ago in college. Classmates. Best friends turned business partner.

She doesn't know about him.

"So? I'm waiting. Speak." I closed my mouth tighter and look outside the window. "Is he your ex?"

"No!" My denial is a defensive attempt to guard my heart. I looked away.

"So why are you acting like a love bird losing her pair? Don't tell me love at first sight? Even the sister of elsa knows that's lame."

"I was just sick that day. And, i want to take a break." Deny my feelings and pretend too that i don't know the guy.

"Sorry H. You see your love interest doesn't want to do anything with us if it's not you." She closed her eyes like she's tired of the twists of this story, "gosh. Both of you makes me sick. If you like each other by all means kiss and be happy."

I didn't bother to reply. The Architect was taken back by my stunt that day. He was offended so he said no project if the Engineer is not your yours truly. Headache and complication, i know.

Cindy doesn't understand why I'm avoiding this at all cause. I'm not ready to tell her about my past. Ten years. Fuck. Fucking ten years yet here i am, still mourning of a lost love.

He doesn't remember you.
He doesn't need you anymore.
He's successful despite your inexistence in his life.
He's happy.

Shit happiness. For many years, i cried alone because i was left alone with all our happy and wrecked memories. I prayed someday he'll remember because he said he loves me. But fuck all romance stories. When the brain can't remember, the heart also won't! That's science.

Ten years. I should move on. We can't be together anymore. For all i know, he might have found someone else.

A tear fell. I silently wiped it.

While waiting for our car to arrived in the goddamn site where Sebastian is waiting, i silently put my pieces again.

Maybe this should happen. See each other again and finally find the closure. I need to move on. Maybe start with letting go.

I put my mask on and started building my walls again. If he can't remember, why should i?

That's just not fair.

But what's fair?