#REWINDCOMP

If Jay had left for Tokyo

Hope you guys like my competition entry.
CJ_Adler
Cj if you see this I also sent the entry by email, just a heads up :)
You're also so awesome ;)

I watch Grey, his dark eyes scolding me, glaring right through me. "You..." he begins with a shaky breathe. "You, are an absolute, utter idiot". His eyes turn away from my gaze.

"I know, and I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch. I just...... I just couldn't handle it. At all", I take a deep breathe, my words shaking, it pains me to talk about her, after what I have done. I Left her behind, she pleaded with me, but I turned a blind eye and left anyway. I have never been good at goodbyes, and I guess that day just proved it. But I never realized that not saying them, (goodbyes) hurts even more.

"She has been hung up on you. for 10 years Jay!!!!!!!" His voice rising, "10 fricken years!!! You said you were hurt, you were broken into thousands and thousands of tiny pieces. And that was after 5 years. Did you even bother to imagine how she would feel, after telling you to your face so many times that she loved you, if you left for 10 years?!" He looks at me, having a confused yet raged expression on his face. I stutter, stunned, speechless. "I....." a burning pain in my eyes, I cant. I cant cry. not in front of Grey, not at all.

"I did. But I didn't at the same time..... I didn't know what I was doing, Grey! I was an idiot and I still am. I didn't think about what she desperately wanted at the time, how much she wanted me. I didn't realize how much I was hurting her until now. I was too focused on wanting her to be happy, I thought she would be better off without me. She obviously is, but she still wanted me, she told me over and over, yet I didn't accept it".

His eyes flicker and the burning that was present before, disappears. A small grin appears on his lips.

"Now's not the time Grey, you are supposed to be yelling at me. I just poured out my heart to you. that's not how your supposed to react", I scowl him. A laugh trickles from his lips "I don't give a damn Jay. You finally got some sense in your brain now huh? You realize that Lawson loved you and that the best for her IS and I repeat IS you".

I laugh to myself, grinning straight back at him. I have missed this, all this. Our heartfelt chats. His groaning and cockiness. I miss them all. Everyone single person I left behind. I wondered each and everyday how their lives were going, how they felt when they heard the news that I was one of the few survivors of the plane crash and continued my contract in Tokyo. Most importantly, I wondered about her. Had she moved on? Would she still remember me? Is she ok?

I guess I finally faced facts. That Jay Taylor is nothing, absolutely nothing without his Aqueela Lawson. And I hope, I beg, I plead. That Aqueela still knows and feels the same way.

"She does, you know" I glance up, forgetting for a minute Grey was in the room. I was lost in my own thoughts.

"What??" I feign confusement. Only in case I heard wrong, not to get my hopes up.

"You know who, Jay. She didn't forget. She talks about you everyday. A memory of you comes back each and every time anyone says anything." He chuckles "Man, it gets annoying. That kid will drive me off a cliff one day."

I laugh. "Tell me. Tell me everything I missed. What happened when I left? What is she doing now?"

He shakes his head. "I guess there's a lot to fill you in on, 10 years worth to be exact," he pauses "but I guess I can tell you somethings anyway."

*            *          *           *       

"The year you first left was the worst. She cried and cried. And I mean it in a literal sense. I have never seen Lawson break down like that. NEVER. She would sob and moan and drag herself around everywhere. She wouldn't speak or look at anyone or anything for 6 months at least. Hells sake she even tried to jump off that stupid Neptune's cliff when she found out your plane crashed. She was even more broken than you, Jay. When Bella tried to set her up on dates, she would just complain about them, similar to what you did."