His Silence

Yours Truly

It was always the same story when it came to this shitty guy, really. As if he couldn't be enough of a bother. My fate was locked the day he was born. You'd think it was a good day, all sunny and bright and happy, but it wasn't. Well, not on the inside. Of course it was a happy occasion and all that. Why wouldn't it be? Hell, I'd even go as far to say that it made me happy. And I was barely a month old. Mom always joked around that he and I were such opposites that we were never going to get along. At first, I thought she was right.

Summer is my favorite season. Nothing to stop me from going to the beach or hunting down some cool bugs. It meant ice cream everyday or a cool, refreshing smoothie with watermelon slices. It meant staying up late each night and sleeping in late each day.

Summer is his least favorite though.

I still remember all the times where he would follow me outside to play, but I'd try and ditch him because he wouldn't stop complaining about the weather. Things like. . . It's too hot. I'm melting. Ew, ew, ew, bugs everywhere! Like being in an oven, roasting in this heat.

Didn't matter to me, I loved summer and he wasn't going to change that. Even through all his whining and fussing I managed to find my peace. He wasn't that big of a problem, I guess. All I had to do was promise him we'd watch the stars together once it got dark and he'd be on his best behavior all day long. I really should give him some credit though. The guy knew tons about stars and more. It seemed like his head was always way past the clouds even if his feet were here on the ground. Summer. . .

Summer was my favorite season.

He preferred autumn, the season right after mine. Personally, I thought he was just being annoying by saying that the one after mine was the best. Also how my birthday month is inferior to his just because his came after. There's really no end to his ridiculous arguments. He loved the rain, he loved the chilly breeze, he loved the colorful leaves even if it meant they were dying. He loved volleyball just a bit more than he loved autumn. I remember he'd drag me out for some dumb walk every other day. His excuse was that he needed some fresh air even though I'm pretty sure it was just to get compliments from all the girls we'd pass by. It always had to be about him and never anyone else. I guess that's the price of being beautiful and talented, you know what I mean? Yeah, autumn definitely. . .

It definitely used to be his favorite.

The nerd wasn't done being a pain in the ass just yet. Never has been, never will be. It was in our last year of junior high that I realized something.

It was always us.

There was never an empty day with him. I was never alone, and neither was he. Because we always had each other, we never had to be alone. That's what it was, all the time, constantly, nearly 24/7. Us, him and I, two so alike yet so different. It was a blessing and a curse. We had other friends, of course, but we were each other's best friend. I was his and he was mine.

Whenever he had a problem, he would come to me. I wasn't as. . . expressive as he was when it came to. . . anything, really. I'm sure he would appreciate it more if I told him what was going on in my head most of the time. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Not like I didn't trust him, no. I trusted him with ever fiber of my being. And I know that I should be able to be as open with him as he is with me, but I really just can't. He carries too much on his own already. . . For all I know, there's more secrets hiding in his head than grains of sand on the entire planet. He means too much to me for me to burden him with my own troubles. The least I could do was carry some of his, as much as I could, to help him out.

While most people saw all his good qualities, I'm one of the few that saw everything about him in general. Good and bad. I know he overworks himself because he thinks he's never good enough even when he's probably a literal miracle. I know he's wasting away on his own whenever no one's looking. I know that smile he always flashes for fans and cameras is all for show. Because deep down, deep in the dark where not many can see it, there's a boy. A boy who's hurting. A boy who's scared. A boy who feels as if the darkness is where he belongs because he can't ever be bright enough to shine above the rest. A boy who can't see his own glory because he's too busy looking at everyone else's.