Journey down Lisa's mind

Evil Intentions

Pardon me if my work
Is not of your style
But I was built to write.
Lay my ink on this page and share a piece of this darkness.

Finding inspiration from my current read
"Bullied" as though its a bluff
I found myself with no tears to shed once I'd reached that point
A point of true felt pain...
Letter to Kayden...

It all felt like a dream when
I turned around and found you laying there lifeless
How you sacrificed your life for mine.

As much as you've left me hollow I do appreciate your friendship.
I was just left to deal with the cruel intentions your Twin had laid out.

I may have never showed you the being he is but I feared to come between you two...

Watched as the evil intentions of suicide claw at my Heart
A wound I'd thought I'd packed away

Deep down it hurts like I have daggers thrown at me by the chance
Seems I keep leaving them there
To remember the pain ...
They threaten to rip the poor stitches I've sown over the hole that bares all the negativity.

I seek comfort ,
Weighing my options as to where to turn ...
Thoughts of Death sway my mind
Prayers of not seeing the next day ...
I am damaged inside and bit by bit
I try to cover up for good but I guess its not meant to workout

These silent tears my walls have seen and I bet they would love to reach out and comfort me
For the many years I lives they've seen a lot

Its funny how all is triggered by a few words
No I will not let you see me this defeated for I still fight,
Fight for true independence some would call it as being rebellious but really I'm just exhausted by these emotions

How I wish to give you a piece of my mind when you utter thoughtlessly your venomous words that keep placing a bigger crack within.

Its crazy how the smallest thing makes you angry ... I once told you in my writing about your biggest Flaw...

I am lost in my world of thought
With Horrible images and questions

Questions no one could succeed to answer...
One of the biggest having been asked before...
What would happen if I was swept off the face of this Earth?
Would you remember me and regret what you said or would you forget me like I'd just been a stranger you never knew...

Trying my best to stay strong but bit by bit my foundation weakens from the dam of sorrow within
A dam only a few understand and keep helping me out off
But you had to push me right back into it.

I sometimes wish I could enter into the world of books and never have to come back to the harsh reality of life
How I wish movies and books had no ending
Prayer that it swallows me up for good then I won't be a burden for you no more ...

I can't take this no more
Fighting with the spirit within that wants to SCREAM OUT and I keep silenced with my pink cloth that's learnt to soak my little distress away.

I keep trying my best but I guess you'll never see that
I keep writing to stay away from the unspoken words
Hide behind my ink for I cannot bare to share with you what's inside.

Trying my best to stay silent and just laugh at this serious matter
Like I usually do
For I wish not to speak as I watch decisions be made for me as always...

Yes it relieves me from most of my sorrows and helps me get rid of these evil intentions ...

This is why I say...

Yet again this is not the end.

Psychotic 🌹

This is to VeraMicic for the book that inspired me to write this piece