catharsis ➳ self care; mental, physical and spiritual health

loving your enemies (2)

Love is the most powerful emotion, along with fear and hate. Which one of these is the best way to handle conflict? Love, obviously. With a lot of hate accounts popping up, I think that this chapter is necessary a bit earlier than I planned to publish.

Yes, you should stick up for yourself. I'm not saying that you should roll over and give up whenever someone is making stabs at you or your friend, what I'm saying is that you defend yourself and your friend in a respectful and mature way. It makes you look better. Be kind to unkind people because they need it the most.

How to deal with cyberbullying/hate accounts:

People who start hate accounts and people who bully are unloved cowards who are just confused and looking for attention. That does not excuse their behavior, but it does explain the root of the problem. Instead of dragging someone who's being mean (which I'm guilty of doing as well), just make a comment or two about how what they're doing is wrong and why and then stop. Don't give them attention, that only fuels the fire. Mute and report or else you might get in trouble as well.

Even though you're ignoring the hate account, that doesn't mean it has to stop there. Chances are that this person is one of your followers or an old enemy of yours, so spread the message of your love and positivity afterwards. Don't make indirects, don't try to figure out who the hate account was. Just accept it and move on. It's much easier on your heart that way.

How to deal with real-life bullies:

Most of the time there are two situations in which bullying takes place. People are either talking behind someone's back (at times very OBVIOUSLY talking behind someone's back and being fake) and being a direct jackass to that someone. Both are equally as hurtful.

If a good friend of yours is talking behind your back and talking trash about you but still acting like they're your friend, call them out. Say you don't like their behavior and that it's hurting your feelings and that you won't tolerate a friend who treats you like that. Again, be respectful. If the person realizes that their behavior is wrong, great! Don't go right back to trusting them though, give them space and see if they really want to change. If the person continues their behavior or blames you, they're toxic and manipulative. Block all their social media, don't talk to them, just cut them out because you deserve better. Afterwards, pray for them and think about them and focus on positive thoughts versus negative. Remember that revenge is not the answer.

If someone is being mean to your face, you can either ignore it or shut them down quickly. If you ignore them, it shows that you don't care and you don't need them in your life. If you address them in a respectful way by saying something along the lines of "your insecurity is getting in the way of my happiness and your own happiness. let go and move on." Usually people come to their senses after this and they cease their behavior. As soon as bullies realize the jig is up and that they no longer bother you, things end quickly afterwards. If it doesn't, block them on everything and tell an adult.

Remember:

You are loved and you are important and you are valid. Everyone else around you is loved, important and valid as well and the reason people are bullies is because they don't believe that they are loved. Don't be mean to someone being mean to you, be respectful. We're all human, we all make mistakes, but that doesn't mean someone's mistake gets to make you unhappy!!