Why Was I Born..Im Disgusting

L O N E L Y

It began on July 1st 2005 when I was born... I was given the Jonathan Hines II named after my father. As a child well...young child I was like everyone else happy, needy you know typical 4 year old stuff. I remember having many childhood best friends who all left the Apartments we lived in except bud and Giddy the ones that left made me sad but I stayed strong and made it threw the days. I remember always being the smartest child in my classes, it felt good to make my parents proud I guess. I was uneven at times I was happy at times I was sad. I progressed into life and matured in a weird way I guess; My dad left when I was around 7 years old...he was drunk and it was some recent time after my mother's birth day. That's when I broke and started to see the terrifying reality that we live in. My dad abandoning us broke me...Oh and what I just witnessed was my mom fighting her ex who wouldn't leave our house. I realized I had depression but haven't spoken to anyone about it...at times at night id imagine floating inside the devils mouth it was weird but wasn't a nightmare. I've recently discovered I have dysphasia which can cause me to get pneumonia so I have a chance at dying too, That's it for today.