Words of a Muted Heart

Prolouge

It's like I've been punished by the gods. Slowly sinking down. Pulled by something beneath me. I've always tried to leave it all behind but I couldn't. I guess that's my fate and the truth is I've always loved someone who doesn't love me back. I wonder how it feels. Maybe like seeing millions of shooting stars at a clear sky in the middle of the beautiful starry night. No worries knowing someone you love loves you. I think I don't deserve to be happy.

"Unrequited love, huh," Ace muttured laying down in his bluish-white colored bed. He slowly closed his eyes, breathed deep and spreaded his arms wide at opposite sides of the bed. He sighed in relief knowing that he just finished reading the 40 chaptered book. "Unrequited love," he muttured again then smiled.

He has always been the kind of person who prioritizes something before his affection for his friend Ethan. Ace had known him for around 2 years now after he met him at the same school. That was when they were on the 1st year in highschool. At that 1 year time, he had no feelings for him, no feeling of likeness nor love. He just admired him for his good looks and appearance. It all suddenly started at the 2nd year where he developed feelings for Ethan. "It was like a feeling of magic, like I've been incantated. I don't even know how I got to like him, how the hell I liked him so much that Everytime I hear his name, I just flinch. I have always wished every hour that I could control my heart just to get rid of this stupid feelings, " Ace thought.

He never imagined they will be at the same class in their 3rd year. The worse is that they are at the same circle of friends. "Ugh, I'm trying hard here to avoid him and now we became friends? This fate sucks!"

At some times, Ace wished to transfer at a different school. He'll surely miss Ethan and all his other friends but he thinks it's better than seeing him everyday which makes it harder for Ace to forget but his parents would disagree and it will also be too late for him to move in the middle of the school year. Plus he always thinks that crying is a little childish and cringey too. But there are times where he can't already restraint himself.

He's always wanted to confess thinking that maybe at that way, it will be easy for him to forget. But his scared that it will affect him. He knows its not right and that he will just be repudiated. Thinking that it would be best for Ethan not to hear his words, to just hide it inside and seal it all up than expressing and end up to nothing.

Ace laughed out loud. "What am I thinking?" He whispered to himself.

He got up from his bed and opened the drapes, letting the early afternoon sunlight to illuminate his room. He looked outside.
"I never loved him. I just like him cause of his my friend." From the window he looked up to the unclouded blue sky while making a despairing face. " And we are just friends," He denied, sealing it all again.