Standing firm and calm during a disaster is hard. However, words cannot define how you feel while you watch your love ones die in that disaster.
15 years later
As I went back to the very place where my family died when I was a young naive thirteen year old girl, brought me so much memories gushing fast. It's as if it recently happend. That's when I knew that no matter how long have passed, for others, the pain and memories might lessen however, for people like me who lost everything, didn't. I decided to visit their grave just across town where the tragedy happend. It was a cold, rainy afternoon and I thought no one will be there that's why for me, it was the best time to visit. No one will ask, no one will talk, no footsteps, nothing, just me. But I was wrong, I saw a man standing in front of my family's grave facing me. He stood tall, wearing his thick long black jacket, reaching his knees, above his three piece suit. I was taken back by how he calmly stood there while watching me slowly walk towards him. It's as if he is a tiger that's carefully watching his prey. I was afraid. The shivers run down through my spine but I disregarded that thought. I lost everything, nothing can scare me now, even death. I may have one of the highest paying jobs in the country, live I'm luxury, been to different places around globe, but I am not happy.
Seeing him again after the tragedy, gave me feelings I never thought about. The only man I ever loved, my first crush, my first, heartbreak.
"How are you?" He asked
I was waiting for further questions before I answer but nothing added.
"Fine I guess, couldn't get any better" I answered
Then there was a huge pause, he looked at me straight in the eyes, as if he knew that I was lying, as if after all those years of being far from home didn't change me. As if I was that little girl he used to spoil with her every whims and caprices. Without any notice, a tear suddenly fell and i think that's the only signal he is waiting before he went closer to me and hugged like someone is taking me away from him. And that's when I knew I was home. Away from lies, away from busy streets, just home, peacefully and happy.
Amidst the rain, in front of my parents grave, he stopped hugging me. He carefully looked me in the eye, memorizing every inch of my face. I can see that he is scared. But I don't know why.
"Mi amore, nothing can describe what I am feeling right now. I am scared, I have waited for so long for you to come back, I will lie if I tell you that I never looked at other girls while you are away and I don't know where in the world you are, I did. I tried dating, but none of them gives me this content feeling by just seeing you. I am attracted to you and only you. I failed telling you last time about how I feel towards you as a man to a woman. And I won't miss this chance again. I didn't know when I started loving you, maybe it was when I saw you crying on the park because you fell on your bike, or maybe when I saw you outside the church while you buy some candies, or maybe the very first time I saw you when you walked inside the classroom during red grade for the first time since you and your family moved into town. However, what I know is that I loved you and I still do. Hell knows how many times I tried to move on when you moved out. You don't even know what I feel towards you. But I just couldn't. I love you so much Heiysha and I can't hold it in any longer. 20 years is enough. We both know that we are not getting any younger, I have seen you interview few weeks ago and I know that you are not in any relationship right now. That's why I am taking this chance. I love you and I won't get tired of saying it. We have known each other for years. Will you be my other half and my partner in life?"
Hearing those words while seeing him in front of me kneeling and begging to take his love is killing me. Because I knew that from the very start, he need not to beg for my love for it was his and forever will be. Smiling while tears are running down my face gave his earlier dark and sulking face a bright new hope.
"Miendro, the very moment I saw you 5 meters from me, I know I am home. And yes I will marry you."
Life thought me lessons through pain and I know that whatever happend was ment to happen and will happen no matter what. Struggle and hardships in life is not made for you to give up. It was made for you to help you strong, get up, and face the challenges thrown at you. It will mold you to- become someone you never thought you will become. You will meet many types of people. Some will stay, some will go, some will put you down but some will help you get up. Remember to never give up and continue rowing in a vast ocean with full of huge and scary waves called life.
