I just feel like I deserve to be happy. I've been through so much with no apologizes or anything to make up for it. I don't know you'll think after all I've stomached I'd gained respect or anything else. No all I get in return is a ass to kiss. &&& more shit to deal with. I don't know what's worst.. sleeping next to someone who keeps breaking your heart or sleeping with a broken heart. Shit really hurts. It hurts bad. Sometimes I cry for no reason because I'm becoming depressed from it. I see everything even things I wish not to see... you know what I mean? The "your beautiful" or "let me be your best friend" why couldn't you be my best friend? Am I not beautiful to you? Been dealing with all of this for 4 long years .. gained a couple of stretch marks for our baby & i shedded some tears.. that's a long time. You'd really think by now I'd have a ring on my finger or the bullshit would've stopped but no I get yelled at for anything. His patience is low with me. I can put on one belt loose wrong or pants that show my print and I'm a bitch or I'm a hoe. If my shape is too nice in what I'm wearing I'm looking to gain someone's attention. Sometimes I feel like a sex slave when we are in public && he sees men with money looking at me. "Bae just go sit by him and look pretty see if he give you money so we can split it."
He doesn't even tell me he loves me anymore unless I tell him first. I remember Clete made me feel like I was just the best thing that ever happened to him now he makes me feel like I'm beneath his feet. Throws dirty clothes & shoes in my face like I'm a slave. And talk down to me like I'm one too. Lay in the bed with me until he gets what he wants out of me then he's gone. You know who I sleep with faithfully every night? My kids. I feel single, only time I'm not single is when I'm laying on my back .. if I'm not I'm worthless to him I'm his "shiteater" that's what he calls me because there's no respect for me. Know what he did to me last night? He kicked me in my vagina! Why? I don't know. This is the type of pain I endure. I get called a hoe, slap, and disrespected at least 2-3 times in one day in front of my kids. I'm called ugly every day. And I'm a prisoner I stare at 5 walls in my room every day all day while he sleeps in the living room or goes out enjoying his life.. only sunlight i get is when I go to my parents for dinner or when I'm dropping off or picking up my kids. Or when I'm going to get him something to eat. He tells me every day he doesn't want to be with me, if he doesn't why is he leading me on?
-Shay Point Of View:
I'd been drinking & smoking last night so of course I slept all morning which isn't like me. I woke up at 1:12, even though I was sleepy I hopped my grown ass right up' the house needed to be cleaned and it was almost time to pick up Chasity & Clayton. I started my shower, picked out my clothes && went on to walking around the house picking up while my water started getting hot.. I seen Clete's phone (Mind You He's Sleeping). My head went to fucking with me I had done sat around him long enough I know the code. At least I thought I did Lmao, the first three times out the gate I jammed that bitch. The Forth go around? Android opened The fuckkkkk up! I ain gone lie when it did I paused cause I was shocked. I went straight to the bathroom & Locked the door and went to scannning..
(Screenshots)
Clete: Girl I love you (Shit He Never Tells Me But Can Tell A Hoe?)
Leslie: I'm never gone shake you bae (This The Same Bitch I caught him texting back in November What the fuckkkkk)
....
Leslie: I miss you so much!
Clete: I miss you too, how's work you coming over when you get off? (Bitch over where?!?!!)
Leslie: It's good, & yeah how long I'm staying?
Clete: 4 days, she going out of town.
I cut my fucking shower water offfffff like I was rushing and ran out the bathroom and in the room like I was a crazy mad woman
_____________to be continued ....
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How yallll feelingggg?
Commmmmmenttt & Ratesss?
