The Science of Seduction

The Sneeze

Sherlock was sure that'd he'd be judged by every single person to walk the Earth if his secret got out. Mrs Hudson, Mycroft and Anderson definitely, Lestrade, Molly, Mary and definitely the press and the media if they got hold of the story. And John, oh John. Would he be understanding? Would he burst into a fit of laughter? Sherlock, for the first time in forever (Okay, there was that time he and John got drunk and stupidly decided to accept a case that night, so other than then.) coudn't deduce a thing about this situation. He squinted at John, trying to read him, as he did with everyone he encountered on a day-to-day basis. John looked suspiciously at Sherlock, abandoning whatever case he was blogging about to question him.

"Sherlock? Anything I can help you with?" Asked John, clearly wondering what was going on.

"Oh, no, no. Everything's fine, just thinking." Sherlock replied a little to quickly.

"Mmmn. Okay, well I'm going to go make myself a cuppa. Do you want one too?"

"No, it's fine." Sherlock replied, again, in a very rushed manner.

John stalked off into the kitchen, and left Sherlock to gather himself together, and prepare for a lifetime of teasing. He could feel his cheeks, warming and turning a fairly humiliating shade of red. His eyes started watering and twitching. This is it, he thought, here goes nothing.

"Acht-choo!" A high pitched squeal that only just resembled a kitten's sneeze escaped Sherlock's mouth. "Please, God, don't let him have heard me." He thought to himself as he hunted around the living room for a tissue.

"Sherlock?" John yelled from the kitchen. "I thought I heard something!"

"Nope, I didn't hear anything John. Must be mistaken. Anyway, perfectly fine here, wouldn't want to distract you from making that cup of tea would I? Hahaha, everything's fine." Sherlock babbled very suddenly, clearly just making up excuses on the spot.

"Are you sure? Because I - "

John had entered the room and was now staring at the wad of tissues Sherlock had clasped to his face.

"Did you just -"

"No."

"Oh. My. God. Sherlock Holmes! Did you really just -"

"NO I DIDN'T JOHN."

"Oh my God Sherlock! You sound like one of those cute little kittens that you see all over the internet!" John teased. "That is literally the cutest thing I've heard all day!" John said, grinning at Sherlock.

"It's not that cute." Sherlock began, trying to sound manly and not smile (John always managed to bring a smile to his face, one way, or another.) "Mycroft made having the common house cold a living hell when we were kids. He'd never shut up about it."

"Well, I think you should put it on Youtube." John began, clearly not done with teasing Sherlock about the topic. "You'd get millions of views, you'd be in the paper!"

"In case you didn't realize John, I am in the paper, and so are you." Sherlock sighed as he grabbed the latest "Daily Mail" from the windowsill and handed it to John. " I'd say our last case went quite well. Any other interesting ones you've heard about?" He questioned.

"Yeah actually. My inbox is exploding, I've got some possible clients coming around in the afternoon."

"Brilliant!" Exclaimed Sherlock, praying silently for another interesting case.

"Oh, and Sherlock?"

"Yes, John?"

"You're not really ill, are you?"

"Don't worry about me John. I'll be fine." Sherlock said, grabbing his trench coat, puling it on, turning up his collar and grabbing his scarf from the coat rack. " I'm going out, I need to study something at the lab, are you coming?"

"Erm, sure." John replied, setting down his cup on the table and picking up his coat and keys." He followed Sherlock out the door and locked it behind him.

So, what do you think? I'm thinking about turning this fic into a load of cutesy Johnlock one shots, and the last part of it will be Sherlock confessing his lobe for John (or vice versa) anyway, I'm still working on a cover!