Sex, Love and Drugs -DISCONTINUED-

Sex, Love and Drugs - Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

The smile wiped off my face, but it quickly returned when I saw his disappointed face. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you to ask me."

He blinked his eyes, a frown setting on his pink lips. "Why not?"

"I just..." I tried off, not sure what to say to the dreamy boy standing in front of me. "I mean..." I was starting to grow frustrated that I couldn't think of a legit reason to tell him why I thought that. "I don't know. I thought after that you've been here for a few weeks and all you'd hear all about me." I winced at the words people probably called me. Despite being a total B, I do have feelings.

"Remember, you said to not believe everything I hear." He smiled at me. I rolled my eyes, remembering saying those words to him. "So, how about that date?" He asked again and I nodded my head. He held his arm out for me and I obliged and wrapped my arm around his. If it weren't for the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I would be freezing.

"Uhm, sure." I said, and an uneasy feeling nestled inside my stomach. Luke only smiled and held his hand out for me. I hesitated for a minute before nestling my small hand into his large one. As we walked along the lit path of the fair, I began to wonder why Luke even made time for me, why he put so much effort into trying to get me to say yes to a single date. Why did he... no, he couldn't possibly care. And I couldn't possibly enjoy the fact that he cared. I didn't have time for feelings, because feelings only jack everything up.

"Are you hungry?"

I let out a squeak of surprise, my mind too caught up in my thoughts. "Um," I blinked my eyes, letting them focus on the path in front of me. "Now that you mention it, I'm starving."

After almost an hour on fighting what to eat, we finally decided to just leave the fair and go to the closest waffle house. Luke and I were the only two inside the small restaurant, and I breathed in deeply. The warming smell of coffee and hot syrup made me think back to when I was a kid. It made me miss my dad.

The thought made me choke on air, but I quickly pushed aside all of the thoughts and tightly locked away the memories. "So, I have a serious question for you." I said, placing a small bite of food into my mouth.

"Shoot."

"Why do you bother sticking around?"

The question caused Luke to look at me funny, and I knew the question struck him as weird. But ever since the night of our first date, I couldn't understand why he kept coming back. No one ever comes back after they realize I'm just a good one night stand. That's all I ever want people to see me as.

“I don’t know why.” His bluntness caused me to jerk back and look at him, wide-eyed. “I just, there’s something about you that makes me come back, no matter how much I tell myself that you’ll never like anyone and everything I’ve heard about you is true. You sleep with random guys, you break their hearts and steal girls’ boyfriends. You do drugs and get drunk every night. But something, something, has me coming back for more every time. Maybe I like the thrill I get when I’m with you, because I know I’m putting my feelings at jeopardy because every single time I’m with you, I like you more each time. Maybe it’s because I know you’re not as heartless as you come off to be.”

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I was choking. I gasped for breath and when I caught my breath, I stared at Luke. I stared at him like he was crazy. But maybe he wasn’t crazy; maybe I was the crazy one. Luke figured me out faster than anyone ever has before.  

“Would you like to know why I don’t like love, why I don’t like feelings and I come off as heartless?” I didn’t wait for him to answer; I took this as my opportunity to tell someone how I really feel. “I watched my father leave my mother. I heard their fight and watched him slam the door in her face. I listened to her cry against the front door, silently begging for him to come back because she was sorry. I watched my father walk away and never come back.” I took a deep breathe. “I watched my mother close out her feelings for everyone. I grew up around a lifeless person, a mother who spent her life and soul at work. I grew up alone.”

I blinked my eyes, quickly wiping away a stray tear that shed from my eye. It was the first tear I’ve shed in sixteen years. I looked up at Luke, but he said nothing. He only grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.

Right at this moment, I could admit I haven’t felt this emotionally attached to someone in a long time. “Luke,” I whispered.

“Yes?” He replied, looking directly into my eyes. At this moment, I felt vulnerable. I felt weak because when he looked into my eyes, I was an open book.

“I fall for you harder every time you fight for me.”

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Totally shit chapter, but I'm trying so hard to get back into the swing of things. Give me time and the old me (writing wise) should be back.