What Happened To Forever?

Chapter 1

I don't know what hurts more, my pride or my body?

~*~*~* Earlier That Day *~*~*~

Where is it? I frantically searched my closet for the one thing that tethered me to my sanity. It's an old, ratty photo album that my mother gave me before I had to leave. It was the only thing that I had left of them. I moved my search to under the bed. No luck. I ransacked everything in my room looking for it.

I don't understand how it can't be here. It can't grow legs and walk away, so where did I put it? I made my way back to my closet. In my fury, I used my arm to wipe everything off the shelf in one swipe making it crash loudly to the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I froze. The last thing I want to do is turn around and face his temper, but that's my only option. As soon as I faced him, I felt his hand slap my face so hard that I was sure it drew blood.

"I- I'm sorry." I always stutter when he's this angry.

"Who do you think you are? Coming in my house, eating my food, and destroying my property?"

I opened my mouth to say something when I felt another slap equal in pain on my other cheek.

"You are a nobody." he said this slowly. With every word, I got a spray of spit on my face. "No one wants you. No one cares about you. You're a worthless piece of shit that got stuck on the bottom of my shoe."

That wasn't true. Victor got away with a lot of things, but not this. Feeling defiant, I talked back. "I didn't ask to be put here. I don't want to be here." I couldn't stop. "And the next person you call a worthless piece of shit should be yourself since-" I fell to the floor. His punch to my face took a lot out of me.

I felt him kick me in my stomach again and again and again. He lifted me up by my shirt and threw me against the wall. Me legs couldn't support my weight causing me to slowly slip down it. He crouched down in front of me and got extremely close to my face. "Next time you want to insult me and damage my things, remember who you're dealing with." He got up and walked out of my room.

What do I do now? I hurt so bad that if I try to get up I'll just fall back down. I curled into the fetus position wishing for the pain to subside. "Is this what you were looking for?" I moved my head to face him. Victor held up my photo album.

I nodded my head. "Keep it out of the fucking kitchen." I tried to get myself in a sitting position with no avail. He held it out to me. My fingertips grazed the edge when he pulled it back. He smirked at how pathetic I was being. "Not so fast." He put his head back and brought it back, spit flying from his mouth. It landed on the cover of my album.

Victor smiled to himself again. "Here you go." He dropped it right in front of my face and left my room. This time it was for good.

I used all my remaining strength to get myself off the floor and take the album with me. I made my way to my bed and collapsed on it. I used my blanket to wipe off  Victors spit. I placed the album under my pillow wishing that the days from the pictures would come back. I huddled under my covers and cried.

I want to go home. I want to see my family again. I want to be loved. Two years of foster care meant two years of being bounced around living with family after family that just want to collect a little extra money, but this place was by far the worse. While the other situations haven't exactly been ideal, they weren't abusive. I hate living with this monster and it's only been a couple of weeks. Twelve years old, and I already want to die.

I shook the thought from my head.

'You don't want to die. Just stick it out and you'll be happy.' 

I hope that's true, because right now I'm too broken to feel happy.

'Then forget about happy. Just be strong. Wipe those tears and make your real family proud.'

 That's exactly what I did.  

I refuse to be put down by someone who has no one. I'm not the weak one, he is. Despite how strong I can be, I have one promise to myself that I refuse to break. Never cry in front of him.

Don't ever give him the satisfaction of winning. Your stronger than him and you'll make it through this.

It's time to be a soldier.