How to Live, Without you

Shattering

Love love, the love that abandoned me
Love love, I live in memories and reminiscence
You are already my soul
How to live, without you

We met on the streets both looking for food and shelter, we both moved to Seoul after dreaming about it since we were in middle school in the dreams of doing the thing we loved most.

We didn't know what to do at first, we knew each other 6 months before debuting but it felt like we knew each for decades. How you knew what I was thinking and feeling, you were able to see through the fake smile I delivered every time we went out. I could see your nightmare of returning to your hometown without making your dream come true and proving your Dad right.

I was confused about my feeling for you and on some level, you were having the same difficulty, then one day after a month of knowing you it was an accident we both stumbled towards each other and embraced our emotions.

You were gentle and loving touching me like I could break any minute, we had never done anything like this before or even thought about it. I knew I was giving you something so important, knew I was sharing something so personal.

I knew we were giving each other our love.

Once we debuted we knew that what we shared it was so hard to hide.

The longing glances we used to share, across tables, stages and on camera's but behind closed doors, those glances were gentle touches I longed for them as you loved you.

Being so close wrapped with your warmth is like breathing

When you smile I have no willpower to smile like a fool next to you.

I knew deep down this bliss wouldn't last and everything would shatter into a thousand of pieces, I didn't mean to distance myself but he knew the secret we shared.

"It's either him or your career"

The words echoed through my mind that night I told you what we talked about. You were so confident it wouldn't come to that but I could tell behind your eyes you were scared just as I was.

But things got worse we would be separated when we promoted, he made sure we never had those longing glances, those small smiles that make me go weak.

You said to me that no matter what would happen we would always stick together but that promise was just another way to reassure me.

I knew that we wouldn't stick together as you stayed with him.

I never knew why you let me go but I would always have the memories that last night you loved me.