| Past
Y/n' POV
"Why are you mad at me" I ask
"Why do you think I'm mad at you?" Lauren asks
"Lauren I don't know that's why I'm asking you" I say
"We'll figure it out because I'm done with this shit" she says turning over
It was the end of a long day and we were laying in bed. She was mad at me and I couldn't figure out why.
"You're done with this shit?" I ask
"Yeah y/n I am" She says. "Goodnight"
I wish she didn't say that. That night I went to sleep in the most anxious state. Remnants of my past relationships were showing and judging on how I handled those relationships this wasn't going to end well.
"...Goodnight" I say
I'm an over thinker and words like "done with this shit" and "figure it out" make me nervous. Nervous to the point where I sabotage my happiness in an attempt to to stop my heart from getting broken. I don't do well with rejection so, whenever I feel unwanted I tend reject first. It's a defense mechanism that has ruined my life.
*Three days later...
We had just gotten back from a dinner with friends and Lauren didn't talk to me the entire time, except for once when she asked me to switch seats with her friend...
I had distanced myself from her. She was angry at me for some unknown reason and it felt like she wanted something else. Something other than me.
"Hey so, I'm gonna sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. I just think we need some space" she says
"Space" quite possibly my least favorite word Because in my mind it translates to, "I don't want you anymore", "I'm leaving you", "never speak to me again"
"Lauren" I say. "Why are you mad at me?" I ask for maybe the thousandth time
"Why don't you know?" she says
"I don't know" I say
"Clearly you don't care then" she says
"I do care" I say
"Doesn't feel like it" She says changing her clothes
"Lauren I love you" I say
"Whatever" She says. "I'll see you tomorrow"
"Lauren I don't think-" I start to say making her turn around
"Hell no" she says
"What?" I say
"Hell. No." She repeats. "You're not about to do what I think you're about to do"
"Lauren"
"Stop this shit y/n. You fucked up and we're fighting but I love you" She says
"I just-"
"Fuck it ok, we can talk about why I'm mad later" she says
"Please just let me-"
"Ugh I hate you" she says putting her hands to her hand
"you what?!"I say
"Damnit no. I don't hate you I love you, I hate that you do this" She says
"Oh... ok but-"
"No I know what you're trying to do and the answer is no" she says
"You won't even let me speak" I say
YOU ARE READING
5 Years Later • (Lauren/You)
FanfictionFirst, you're 18 and in love. You're at the peak of your youth and everything you've ever dreamed of is possible. Then, you're as good as homeless, lost in a city full of people with the same dream and everything you were once optimistic about, see...
