Run (Don't tell me bye bye) | Sope

Truth untold

The dates show when I wrote the story in my day-by-day
30.4.2018

The truth....*sigh . . . . . . .the thruth is that I'm fucking scared.
But this... is only the half of it.
The untold part....
I'm fucking scared that you will move to another city, further away from me.
That's also one of the main reasons which made my eyes sweat out of nowhere. I'm so scared.

Hoseok's pov

I don't know what's wrong with my mind.
I want him to kiss me so bad. I want to hold him and being able to hold all dark thoughts and feelings away from him. I want him so bad.
My thoughts and feelings scare me. What if Yoongi's and my friendship breaks because I'm so stupid?

I tried to imagine my future without that person and without that friendship. And...
I guess that I couldn't do it without going crazy and.... .
Also right now I feel like wanna make me bleed. But I can't.
He would be disappointed.

We sit in the city park on a bench close to the public restroom.
It's a balmy night. The mood is heavy between Yoongi and me.

So if I shouldn't hurt myself...
"Then... bite me" I continue my thought loud.
"What?", puzzled look from Suga.
"Bite me. ...please", I hold my wrist to him.

"No, WTF?!"
"I'm not far away from hurting myself! So somebody else should. Please."
He looks at me with his judging expression. "That makes no sense!"
"It's hob-logic, that always makes sense...somehow.
"Are you stuPid?!"
"Yes, you should know already!!", slowly I'm getting angry.

Yoongi looks at me speechless.
I hold my wrist in front of his face.
"So bite already. Or scratch me or ki-" I stop before it's out but decide that it's not getting much worse when I say it "ah fuck this! Yeah, or kiss me!"

8.5.2018
When i continued...

Yoongi takes my wrist and slowly moves it to his mouth... looks into my face, question in his eyes.
"Do it"
"I don't want to, I'm not a bloody vampire!"
"Well, it's not like you hurt me bad already a few times and made me feel like you're testing me and make me feel so fUcKinG stupid and naive."
I stand up and turn around to face him.
"And I think I really am. I could've shown you my cold shoulder but I stayed. No matter what you did, I stayed because it fucking hurts to leave you unhappy." I talked myself into a rage and gesticulate angrily.
"I fell for you, I fell two meters down while kissing a stranger out of jealousy after you gave me the shock of my life because I first couldn't find you.
I kissed you and went almost crazy days after, you let me give you my new years eve kiss and later I let you tell me that you wanna be together with me just to find out that you didn't mean it and that twice!"
I ignore the fact that some points are made of my own egoism and some aren't 100% correct.

"Some people told me that you are not good for me and I just should let you be and leave you behind and find new friends but I still stayed by your side, I'm still here because I just fucking can't without you!"

I take a deep breathe: "So. Now it's out. Do what you want." I support my hands on Yoongi's knees and look into his eyes, "Hit me, bite me, kiss me, just do anything to me! Kick me when I'm down!", I growl with low voice.
Short time it's silent, Yoongi looking at me exploratively.
Suddenly he leans forward and kisses me.