I wonder to myself At times why does good things happen to bad people? Also why does bad things happen to good people?I don't think I am a good person.I don't think I am a bad one either.I always go to church every Sunday. I don't listen to it but I am there.I sit there and wonder why does life have to like this so...Painful.I always had that question running throughout my mind.I mean I had things that you would say would take away the pain.I did,t have those things I did,t have Sonething to runaway from reality.I just had my partner who would run with me.He was a complete dork and he was scared of the truth.I was too.I mean I was afraid of the truth because the truth was always against you.The truth will never be with you.I mean If you really think about it.I don't like the truth I rather you tell me the plain lie.It's diffrent with me I rather tell you The truth.My mom sometimes gets mad at me for being too honest.I mean honestly does hurt a lot but some people can take it.See I am Not like that I can't handle being slapped by the plain cold hard truth.
I woke up in the middle of the night.I turned over and reached underneath my pillow to get my iPod.I checked it and no text no Facebook message or twitter.I wasn't being notticed anymore.I mean it was scary for me.I was finally okay to be in the light but the light was not okay with me being in it.I looked at my ceiling.I tried to cry I wanted too.I really wanted tears to come out.Nothing no tears no nothing.I wanted to feel something beside pain.The pain was always there nothing else.I got up from my bed and pulled my Black long hair back.I went toward my brown closet.I pulled a jacket from the hangers.I put on my black leather boots.I grabbed my
purse and left the house.I had 20 dollars in my bag.I started walking toward to Walgreens.I was tired of being this stupid girl who wanted to stay behind the doors.I went and bought a pair of hair cutters.It was time to be me.I went back home and locked myself in the bathroom and started to cut my hair shorter my hair got the more tears ran to my checks.I
Did,t want to Continue.I kept cutting my parents were awake. they ran to the bathroom.They knew exactly what was going on.They Kept trying to open the door. They finally did and saw me on the ground coverd in my own blood.The cops called it a mental breakdown.I called it clarity.I was stuck it a metal hospital for about a month.I was taking therapy and medications.I mean I enjoyed the medication just a bit more then therapy.I knew what to say to myself.I mean I had a tools to help myself.I just did not want fail again.
I sat in the hospital bed waiting for the doctor to take me to my therapists office.I just sat there playing with a string hanging from my fabric.That string was my entertainment for about an hour.The doctor was taking forever.I knew what was going on.He was probably getting head my a nurse.I knew that because I caught him once.It did,t shock me at all.I just looked at her then him then walked away.I mean It was none of my problem.I was getting hungry so I asked to nurse to bring me food.She looked at me and said"Sweet heart I am about to get off and go home so ask that boy over there to bring ya some okay"I looked at the boy and looked at her then went back to my room.I did not Want to talk to anyone .I only talk to the doctor and the therapist.I am not a shy person.i just don't like meeting new people.New people meant new pain.
Chapter one:
I stood up again and started to walk slowly toward him.I was getting nervous.My arms were getting warm. He looked at me with his brown big eyes.I looked back at him. With my big brown eyes. I turned away.I just couldn't anymore.
