On The Way Out

Chapter 1

45 more minutes.

As I look back and forth from the document I have to be reading to the clock, I feel my eyelids getting heavier and heavier. I try with all my might to keep them open, but all I can do is think of is falling into a heavenly sleep. Anything to make the day go by faster.

I don't hate my job, but when I went to law school, I never imagined that being a lawyer would be like this. Granted, I'm not a lawyer yet, I'm only working as an assistant to a lawyer, but lately, I've felt like I hate everything about it. All the rules I have to keep track of, all the documents I have to read, I feel like all of it is mind numbingly boring. And I know, I know that I did this to myself, but I thought being a lawyer would be like it is on Law and Order. All I have to say is, there's a reason it's a TV show- it's not real. Not even close.

I'm awakened by the sound of someone banging on my office door. When I look up, I see my boss, Mr. Winston, staring at me. When I make eye contact with him, he motions for me to go to his office. My heart drops as I quickly get up and make my way to his office.

"Ms. Stevens, do you have any idea why you are in my office right now?" He says, as he places his hands in a fist under his chin. I've never really thought about how old he is, but looking at him up close, I would have to say he's at least in his late 60s.

"Um, I would assume it's not a promotion?" He shakes his head sadly.

"When I first hired you Molly, you showed a lot of promise. You were successful academically and you seemed very motivated to do well. But now? It's clear you're heart isn't in it. This is the third time in 2 weeks I caught you sleeping in your office. And you messed up on the case last week even when you had 2 months to work on it." I gulp.

"All I want to know is- is there a reason why this is happening? Are you having problems in your personal life? Maybe issues with your family?"

I shake my head. I wasn't really going through anything too difficult at the moment. My family also was the same as it had always been.

He looks at me for a minute and then sighs. "You're a good kid Molly. And I would love to keep you here with me, but I don't think it's what you want to be doing." He says.

I quickly object. "No, Mr. Winston. I-I want to be here. I haven't been sleeping well, it's why I fell asleep in the office. Please don't fire me."

He puts up his hand as though to stop me from talking anymore. "Don't look at this as me firing you. I'm actually doing you a favor. I want you to go out and find what you really love, and I think you will be much happier. More fulfilled, even. You can try to convince me that you want to stay here all you want Molly, but I've been doing this for over 40 years. I know when people are lying."

I look down, afraid to make eye contact with him. I know that he's right, but I don't want to admit it. "But what am I going to do about the financial aspect of it? Do you know how much I spent to go to law school?" I say, feeling like I'm about to start crying at any minute now.

He squints at me for a second before saying. "If you can find something you love, the money will follow. Most of the time, I guess. But I believe in you Molly. I believe that if you put your mind to something, you will succeed. I just don't think your dream in life is to be a lawyer."

Listening to him talk, he's completely right. I don't love the law and it was never my dream to become a lawyer. I only did it because my dad always wanted to be a lawyer, but he was never able to go to college. It was more my dad's dream to be a lawyer than it was mine. In fact, I always wanted to be a fashion designer, but then my dad died, and I felt like I had to be a lawyer to honor him in some way.

I finally stand up and start to walk out the door as Mr. Winston says. "You're going to change the world Molly. You know that." He says something else, but I don't hear as I'm already walking down the hallway and getting into my car at lightning speed.

As I sit down, I put my head in my hands and groan. I always try to do right by everyone in my life, and always do the right thing, and where does it get me? I get fired at a job I've worked at for 4 years all of a sudden for no reason? Okay, maybe there was a reason for it, but I don't think Mr. Winston was justified in firing me for that reason. I know I should follow my heart, but it's hard. I just wanted to have a job where I knew I would have financial security for the most part because I know what it's like to struggle.

You see, up until about the 4th grade, my family and I had a comfortable life. It was me, my older sister Cassie, my mom and my dad. My dad was a firefighter, my mom worked part-time jobs from time to time, and we lived in a nice townhouse in the Lower East Side. My dad would work holidays and overtime to make sure we never struggle and even though we weren't rich, but we always had a little extra money to go out to eat every few weeks and we would still go out to the movies as a family, or even go to Long Island and go to the beach if we were lucky. Our family wasn't perfect, but for a while, it was pretty close to it. And then 9/11 happened.

To say my dad and I were close would be an understatement. He was my best friend, so when I lost him, I knew that my life would never be the same again. To make matters worse, it turned out that my parents had never actually officially been married. They had gone to Vegas and gone to one of those chapels that does the quickie weddings, but apparently the minister that officiated the wedding wasn't actually certified, so they were never technically married. They had always said they were going to have a real wedding one day and Cassie and I would be a part of it, but it never happened.

My dad's family took advantage of the fact they weren't really married, and since they hated my mother, they got everything that was my father's. His money, the house, even his car. We tried to fight it in court, but we couldn't afford a good lawyer, and of course they could, so the case never went anywhere, and we were basically broke.

My mom worked a lot of odd jobs, and Cassie worked a few part-time jobs after school to help pay the bills, but if never seemed to be enough. As soon as I got to high school, I start working in a boutique, and discovered that I loved fashion. Even though I wanted to use the money I made to make new clothes, I always gave whatever I made to my mother. We moved around a lot, because whenever the rent would get too high, we would come home from school, and my mother would have everything packed up, and tell us that we needed to go somewhere else. Some days, I would come home and there would be no electricity or running water because my mom would "forget" to pay the bill, even though we both knew she hadn't have the money to pay it. It was then and there that I decided to become a lawyer. I knew my dad had always wanted to be one, and I had already been accepted to Yale, so I figured it would be the best course of action for me. I did love fashion, but this was more practical for me. I never wanted to struggle the way we did when I was younger.

My sister Cassie married her high-school sweetheart who made a decent living and told her she didn't have to work, as long as she had a few kids for him, but I never wanted that to be me. I'd only had one boyfriend in high school, and that didn't work out so well, because he dumped me right before he left for college and I never saw him again. The only reason I met my fiancé Bryan was because my he was friends with my best friend Nicole's husband Grant. Bryan was also a lawyer and did extremely well, but he was cheap, so even if I didn't work, I doubt he would give me anything. I once asked him if I could borrow $20 for a pizza, and he hounded me for about a week until I paid him back.

There's no question about it. I have to work. Bryan would never cover my share of rent for the apartment we share, and I would feel like a freeloader even if he did. I know he's not going to be happy to know I lost my job, but he has to know. The truth always has a funny way of coming out when you least expect it though.

Hello everyone!! I have recently come to the realization that I actually have a way different idea for this book than what I originally thought, but I think it's all coming together somehow actually!! Let me know what you think of this new storyline in the comments, and thank you so much for reading, it means a lot!! Xx Meg