Clarity of the Youth

Chapter One

Life hasn't yet had much of a meaning to me. I valued my life and others around me with great praise. I understand being seventeen is never easy in any prospective. The age of naivity and carelessness has become a strong anthem to us.

I never cared for mall shopping, being popular, and socializing. I imagine myself as another misunderstood young lady who's priorities are demolished with not a hope for any salvation. Now I know how the usual teenage baggage goes, the mistakes, and the whole wanting to relive stuff. I get the mid life crisis with undoubtable consequences.

Year upon years of built up isolated anger and want consume us. The movie star beauty and charisma changes the bullied into the bully. I get it. I've read too many books in my young life and have yet to learn the concept that is life. We sort out pieces of the puzzle to form a confusing misshaped figure.

I've come to understand that life shouldn't be figured out. Maybe billions of years ago a falling angel said to another "Life should be painful and at times unbearable because nothing should be made easy for the selfish."

Isn't that life though, Unfair yet inspiring? The irony is what forms us, limb by limb. The perishable information contradicts us in everyday life. We're constantly fighting off non human enemies.

"Gah!" I huff and set my journal down on my white crested desk. My brain hurts from all the philosophies I'm recreating.

Hot chocolate, I need hot chocolate.

My Spider-Man pajamas were always an interesting topic to my parents. Growing up with both parents in the medical field doesn't cause the fairest childhood memories.

Dr. Conner Phillips is a highly respected Pediatric Emergency Medical Doctor or PEMD for short. It's all a bunch of yawns and smart asses. For thirty four he looks snazzy I suppose, I don't particularly get along with him.

Dr. Elizabeth Phillips is a successful Pediatric Cardiologist. She's a workaholic and has always been the less strict parent. Although don't get your hopes up, she's the most cold hearted women I've ever come across. The evil queen would be impressed by my mothers cruelty.

Then there's me. The awkward misunderstood rebel Adeline Phillips. My dull amber eyes and golden brown wavy long hair is enough to trick people into thinking that I'm slightly below normal. I never cared much for fashion or makeup. For 17, I suppose I look about the right age, but I've been mistaken for middle schooler dozens of times. Being 5'7 I guess I could pass for a strangely tall pubescent.

Back to my crappy parents, the irony in this is, for being children's doctors, they sure as hell suck at being parents. I wasn't neglected in the physical sense. They showered me with gifts and bought me whatever I wanted, the high life right? Wrong!

Olivia was my nanny as a child. She fed me, bathed me, clothed me, and sang me to sleep when a storm struck. The middle aged Spanish blonde haired blue eyed saint raised me like her own. When I was eleven, I mistakenly called her mom. She didn't correct me nor did she deny my affections.

She became my nanny when I was 10. My parents were very active in my life the years before. From the age of ten I was abandoned emotionally as well as physically by my parents. It sucked, it sucked so much I became depressed.

As I've said before, I'm seventeen, and still have mommy and daddy troubles. I suppose everyone goes through the waves of life with difficulties but being a child who was left as a shadow wasn't particularly easy to ride through.

My parents dragged me along to their dinner parties where I was forced to be older than my years. I can only describe it as a feeling of not being good enough and having to always pretend I was someone with more use to my parents.