Song: Memories - Shawn Mendes
Warning: this chapter contains a scene that may be disturbing to some readers. As vital as it is to the story, I advise you (readers prone to self hurting )to skip it to avoid any triggers.
As I entered the front porch to park Blaire I noticed the living room window was broken and there was a lamp in the front porch.
What the actual furballs?
I heard shattering of dishes and I knew it was mom.
Whenever she got really mad or frustrated, she would break as many dishes as she could get a hold of and drink till she couldn't even speak.
My mom was one of those people who you would automatically see as perfect. Like she had her life in the palm of her hands. Like her life couldn't be more content, more happy.
One time when we were younger, she came back home and didn't do that thing where she kisses Kanisha and I when she thinks I'm asleep. I waited and waited as worry grew inside me until I finally walked to her room. Before I could enter, I heard sobs and peaked through her half opened door. She was crying, a half glass of some expensive whiskey in her hand. While I was walking to her room, I heard her say, "Por favor, if you can't do this for me, do it for Aqua, do it for Kanisha." She started off." I know but please--" then it seemed like the phone cut. I knew it was dad.
He had been away for several months now. I never really connected with him, not as much as Kanisha anyway. It must've crushed my mom when he would be so cold towards her, but she always stayed. I never really understood why. She always said he had to go away on a business trip, or he needed a little time to reflect, away from everyone- including his family.
There she was, still begging for someone who even I knew now wasn't coming back to us. I saw Kanisha cry herself to sleep every night. Mom and her didn't really get along because she didn't obey her every word the way I did, didn't let her control her decisions..
Didn't allow mom to mold her.
Mom was crying and shaking so much that her glass fell right out of her hands. I wanted to go in and hug her, but I was too scared to. She got a piece of the broken glasses on the floor.
I watched her as she stopped crying, standing up to sit on the stool right in front of her bed. She looked at the glass with so much intensity, like it held the answers to her questions.
Then it happened.
She directed the glass towards her skin. She pierced through her left arm as the tears rushed down her face. This sent daggers through my tiny little seven year old heart as I began to cry. I wanted to scream.. To tell her to stop, to let her know that I was there, but I felt a hand over my mouth. Someone pulled me back to my room.
It was Kanisha.
She motioned her index finger towards her mouth in a way to tell me to shut up. I don't remember crying as hard as I did that night. I ran to Neesh and she hugged me as we both fell to the ground.
"Neesh! She's hurting herself!" I started off in whisper screams. "She's gonna kill herself! She's gonna leave us too!"
"Sshhh. It's okay.. Just relax." Kanisha was twelve at the time. She was more mature than most twelve year olds. I mean, she had to be. "You have to be strong. Hey, at least you'll have me. I promise I'll never leave you."
"I-is.. M-mom gonna b-be okay Neesh?" I cried so hard I started to stummer.
"She's gonna be just fine tomorrow, I promise. Now get some rest Aqua." And then my heavy eyes closed.
Entering the house brought so much memories of the times I would hear breaking dishes from downstairs. I always ran to Neesh and slept on her bed with her. And the next day, everything was back to normal- no broken dishes- and my mom had a smile on her face like nothing was wrong.
"Mom? Mom!" I ran to the kitchen and saw my mom sitting on the floor, Kanisha panting behind me. "What the heck happened?"
"Dad called."
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Woah.. This chapter tho!!!
Before I wrote this, I swear I thought I lost my writing mojo. I was freaking Austin powers without his mojo!!! *dramatically cries*I'm sorry it was short BTW!! I'll make sure I make up for that!
But anyway please tell me what you guys think.. It really means a lot to me. And don't forget to vote!!
And PS. If any of you have ever thought of self hurting, please speak about it to a trusted friend, parents or guardians or even a therapist.. It's never the end, even if things seem hard. Your life is more precious than the hard time you're going through, no matter what it is.. It will get better...💖
#Show_some_love!!
Love y'all,
♣Chazzie♣Qod: What's your biggest fear?
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Welcome To Detention School!
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