Screwed Up

Prologue

Cassidy

Bringing a baby into the world is tough shit. Correction bringing a baby into the world at fifteen is tough shit. Having a baby at fifteen is tough shit. Maybe it's all just shit. I'm sorry, what was that, you think I did this to myself? Or wait maybe your with the rest of my classmates that say because my dad isn't around I have "daddy issues." My personal favorite is when I get brochures in the mail saying my baby is an abomination. Well if you are any of these people then I have one thoughtful sentiment that I send your way, FUCK YOU.

All that matters right here and right now is that I safely deliver my baby in something that is not my replacement best friends junky sedan.

"The hospital is that way!!!" I cry out, holding my stomach as if it is going to help the pain.

"Shit, I was hoping you wouldn't notice, just breathe" says Kat. She is usually super cool, but I can hear the panic in her voice. "Your mom is going to meet us at the hospital."

I can't explain in words exactly how I feel. It's a mix of nausea, anxiety, and even a little excitement.

"Do we need google maps?"

"No, I see the entrance up there."

"Good, great, phew"

"Tell me about it. Okay what's your time?"

Once we got to the hospital things went by quickly. The pain was unimaginable and nothing that I did before prepared me for this. I am lying in the hospital bed waiting for the doctor to come to check my dilation when another contraction hit me. They just kept getting worse and worse. I am not going to make myself out to be some badass pregnant teen. In other words I spent the next half an hour bawling and having a panic attack.

"You're doing great Cas" Kat encourages. Okay, I feel bad for calling her my replacement best friend. She has been with me through all of this and I can't really say that about my best friend. My heart aches as I picture the one person I want to be here right now.

"Honey, would you like another ice cube?" and that's my mom, trying to be supportive.

"They won't help" I cry.

"What can I do, tell me how I can make this better? Do you want the shot?"

"No, I have to do this."

"I can call him" kat interjects.

"No, he won't come." And then there was silent sobs.