Denial is worse than confrontation. I, of all people, would know this. For months, even now, I refuse to believe my brother killed himself. Why would someone who was always so happy end their life? What was so bad that made him feel like this was the only way out? These questions replay over and over in my head, haunting me in my sleep. I look in the mirror and see my brother, what he could have been, what he should have been. Memories constantly flood my mind, flashbacks anchor me to the reality that no matter how many nights i cry myself to sleep or wish this was a horrible dream, he's gone.
Nothing took away the pain. The endless condolences, appointments to get a therapist that I never followed through with and antidepressants only paralyzed me in my sadness. I was in a loop of never ending despair, and no matter how hard i tried, I couldn't shake the emptiness inside of me.
x
I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling for the thousandth night. All I can think about is his funeral that came far too soon, how pale he was, how lifeless he looked. My brother, the famous Jason, who was so full of life only a week ago, who was so loved by so many. The superman of our small town, now no more.
Nothing added up. It was so out of character for him to do this. He was never the one to give up, but who am I to say who he may have been? Was what people saw, what he wanted people to see? All my life I've seen nothing but a smile on his face. Was that an act? What was he hiding from all of us? With so many unanswered questions, I felt the need to find out the truth, the ugly heartbreaking truth. Whether I do it for closure or to get a sense of understanding, I am going to figure out what really happened.
YOU ARE READING
Blind Truth
Genel KurguIt was another gloomy day. Although its been months, all the small town folks were still shocked from the horrible tragedy that occurred. Nobody can comprehend what took place and why, only mourn for the loss of something great. It's not spoken abou...
