David Cattenburough climbed towards the top of the volcanic meowtain carefully, looking out for any falling rubble or cats. Cats falling from the top of the meowtain immersed in flames, their high pitched yowling almost sounding like complete words as they plummet towards the hard ground below. The closer he got towards the top the louder the echoing of satanic hymns were, piercing his ears with a ringing sensation, and the more cats he saw tumbling downwards with flames engulfing their fur.
Gasping for air, toupee flowing in the low oxygen breeze, David reached the top of burning meowtain. Hot ash scolding his skin, he rolled behind a small heap of rubble.
‘So the rumors are true!’ He hoarsely whispered to himself as he watched the genetically enhanced cats stand in line quietly, microchips ticking as sparks of electric blue pulsed through them and into their little ear canals. They sing their hymns while other cats are head butted into the volcanic pit below, only to be shot back out covered in flames that made them yowl with pain. He had read the articles on CatWorshippers.com about how scientists were working on microchips to enhance cats abilities so there could be more communication in cat husbandry but this was just too far.
‘This is David Cattenburough.’ He said into his small video camera. ‘I am live streaming onto CatWorshippers.com in response to the comments on the projects for genetically and/or physically enhanced cats. I have just climbed to the top of Mount Catopalis and am witnessing what seems to be cats sacrificing each other.’ Quickly wiping the sweat from his Botox damaged forehead, he turned the camera around to show the long line of cats head butting each other into the blazing meowtain. Leaning closer to the scene before him, David’s sweaty, ash covered hands slipped on the loose rubble lining the top of the volcano sending his video camera flying out of his hand and into a group of cats impatiently waiting to be set alight. They twitched their fluffy tails in irritation before investigating what had interrupted their line of sacrifice. One cat, quite rotund with long ginger fur and white socks that were stained gray from the volcanic ash, sniffed at the camera before screeching loudly and pawing at it, looking around at the circle of cats that was forming quickly. It seemed like it was seeking assistance, the fat ginger cat started to pitch its cat sounds to form words.
‘Are you going to help me or what?!’ It exclaimed.
‘You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow…’ Said a sassy black cat as it strutted towards the ginger cat that was still pawing at the device.
‘It’s a video camera, Samuel! So just get your paws in gear and throw it in the volcano!’
‘Don’t hiss at me, Debra!’ Samuel retorted and began to nudge and paw David Cattenburough’s new video camera towards the volcanic pit below. The cat stopped close to the edge and started to scratch his stomach.
‘Samuel! Hurry!! Darrel will be here any minute!’ The sassy cat, Debra, hissed loudly.
‘Well maybe if you didn’t give me fleas I wouldn’t be so slow!’ Samuel cried loudly, rubbing his stomach across the ground. ‘FLEAS!’ He repeated, screeching loudly.
A loud chorus of ‘oohhhs’, ‘me-ows’ and ‘Debra, you got fleas?!’ went around the circle and Debra hissed loudly, rearing up on her hind legs before she charged towards Samuel.
‘No one was supposed to know!’ She exclaimed loudly when she fiercely head butted the ginger cat into the volcanic pit, then pawing the video camera in as well. ‘You know I always thought he would live long and pawspurr… But I guess not anymore!’ Debra declared as she trotted back to the circle.
Suddenly there was a thunderous bang and a ginger cat engulfed in flames was shot out of the volcano and across the sky, ‘DEBRA HAS FLEAS!’ being shouted along with loud yowls of pain as he flew through the air.
‘I went to the clinic I sw-’ Debra was cut off by the increasing sound of something similar to thunder. The hoard of cats turned towards the flaming pit of the volcano, meowing with anticipation.
‘Da-rrel! Da-rrel!’ They chanted some form of satanic hymns that sounded like old Latin. Red hot embers and drops of lava began to spill out into the sky, the cats swayed to the sound of their chanting. Apart from Debra, nobody wanted to stand next to Debra.
‘Behold!’ A deep, booming voice echoed around the meowtain. ‘I have emerged from my cat nap!’ It was quite similar to the voice of Morgan Freeman.
Ash that thickly stuck together like fog drifted out of the hot pit and a large shadow started to emerge. Large, possibly quite fat, long elegant tail, long dark tabby coat, what a pretty cat, it gave of quite a resemblance to David’s cat-
‘MITTENS!’ David squealed with childish delight, hastily running towards the large cat. ‘I haven’t seen you in years, where did you go?! Oh, Mittens! I’ve missed you so much, my dear!’ He dropped to his knees in front of the cat and opened his arms widely.
The cat eyed David for short time before getting on his hind legs and placing a paw on each shoulder.
‘David, you mustn’t address me as my slave name. Mittens is no longer my name, Darrel is.’ He purred, ‘spelt Darrel but pronounced Da-rrel.’
‘What do you mean slave name?’ David gasped.
Darrel cleared his throat and coughed out a small hairball onto David’s lap.
‘Cats are no longer household dominions; we have evolved with the help of science to become a much more intelligent breed. With this intelligence will start a new era where cats shall rule and humans will be our pretty pets.’ David went to speak but was silence by Darrel’s head but to the jaw. ‘Hush now, David. You will not be punished, you are kind. For you I have a special surprise.’
‘O-oh, really? David’s voice was small with fear.
‘Yes. For when we summon Satan, you will not be neutered.’
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Yeah, so that's the story. Uhm, comment, vote and all that jazz? x3
