The question that will never be answered.

end.

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one-shot

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We frolicked through the snow as i could see my breath disperse in the thick air. I immersed small giggles and laughs, as i peered at the back of his head. I took a moment to gaze at his dark black hair, the hair that i'd glide my hands and fingers through so calmly. He turned around and gazed into my eyes, he had flashed me a wide grin; but deprived it into a small frown. He looked down at his feet, only to give me the cold shoulder look.

I got it.

He turned back around, his back leaning in my vision. I caressed his shoulders as he stood there, snowflakes began to fall one by one.

"Each snowflake that falls, is just another tear you'll shed for me. Please, just stay away." He stuttered forward as i caught his wrist.

"A second ago, you were just smiling, Myungsoo. Instead of standing here and sulking, live. For the time that you have left, you might as well use that time to live."

"Nana, every time i try to live, i end up getting someone attached, or attached to someone. Like you. I don't want anyone to miss me when i'm gone." He laughed bitterly,"I don't want anyone to miss me. I will only be a burden. To you, and to everyone. So please, just leave me be." He retracted his wrist from the grasp of my palms as he trudged through the snow.

"Myungsoo, people will miss you when you're gone. But rather than being sad about losing you, we would be happy that we even got to meet you."

My voice began to grow quiet and shaky,"To be happy that you wanted to live, in the time you had the chance." I trudged past him as the snow had begun to fall heavier.

I headed towards the small cabin. I heard his feet against the snow from behind, but i had no sense of turning around and staring him in the eyes, not now. I swung the cabin door open as he caught it in front of him. He gently pushed me in, then closed the door behind him. He slipped off his thick coats as i did the same. I threw them on the chair as i sat down on the couch, now giving him the could shoulder.

He walked over to me, and sat down cross-legged. I had my arms folded over my chest as he scooted just a little closer. He brought his hands up to my face, and tucked the loose strands of hair behind my ear. "I will live. Just don't be mad at me." He leaned in closer as his body began to hover over mine.

His lips softly crashed onto mine as his hand caressed my cheek. My hands automatically began to rise, as they came close to his neck, but stopped.

I pulled my lips away,"Stop. Myungsoo, what is it that you want? First, you want to be all hep hep happy, then go on about staying isolated, now you smother your lips on mine. What do you want?" I contemplated with my thoughts.

"Instead of getting to know others and living, can i just get to know you, go on living with you, and just have you? All to myself." He took his hands and intertwined them with mine. He brought them up over my head, and started at my neck. He started to suck, and plant wet kisses on my neck, as he began to lower his body just a little bit.

~

The next morning had been just as cold, but warm, being beside each other. He had me in his embrace as i hugged his waist, my head on his chest.

"Nana?" He called out as he twirled my hair in between his fingertips.

"Hmm?" I replied as his body shifted.

"So can i be with you, is that enough? Because it is for me." He held me tighter in his arms as i smiled. "Yes, thats enough for me too."

He stared down into my eyes as he shuffled his body down. He was at face level with me, now. He leaned in whole closing his eyes. His lips collided with mine as he rubbed his hands up and down my body. "I love you." He rejoiced in between his kisses.

"You know i love you." I beamed as he giggled. He began to shift his body up. He raised his body up into the sitting position, pulling me up halfway. He positioned himself in between my legs as he rubbed my thighs. "Round two?" He flashed a daring smile as a knock came to the door.

He groaned in annoyance as he stammered to the floor, flicking the blanket fully off of my now exposed body. I shrieked, making him turn. His face had an overly satisfied look along with a glint in his eyes. I felt myself get red-hot as i grabbed a pillow to cover half my body; waist down. I bent over the side of the bed and tossed the blanket back onto the bed. He slipped on a tank-top, while walking to the door.

I covered myself with the blanket and pretended to sleep. "Hello." A man's voice rang from the door,"I wanted to check on all of you, there was a blizzard last night, i'm hoping everyone is okay." Myungsoo nodded as the man nodded back. He turned around and walked towards the other cabins. Myungsoo rolled his eyes in annoyance,"Three seconds wasted. I could've been doing something within the time of me getting ready and answering the door."

I chuckled to myself as he laid down beside me. He gazed into my eyes as i beamed.

--

I stared up into the sky as the clouds rotated in the air. They seemed so white and fluffy, just like the snow that fell on your shoulders, Myungsoo.

Let me write a mental note to you, okay? I hope you will receive it telepathically...

Dear Kim Myungsoo,

It's been a while since i've talked to you. The things we did together, were the best days of my life, and i shared them with you. I remember your laugh, your gaze, your voice, and your various facial expressions, but what i could never forget, was your love. I miss you very much, but i hope you're better now. Instead of weeping of sadness, i weep of joy, because you're always smiling.

Love,

Nana

I brought my hands up to the solid, cold tombstone grave, and reminisce about the times. You really were something special, Myungsoo. Its just too bad you can't be here with me physically, but forever you will be with me. Remember what you'd ask me?

"What's the point of living if theres no reason to live for?"

I would always tell you that what you loved, who you loved, and who loved you, is your reason of living.

Can i ask you that question, now?

"What's the point of living if theres no reason to live for?" I laid there intently as i waited for my question that was never going to be answered.