In life, you only really need one person. Someone who loves the real you no matter what, someone you fear to loose. That's what Keri is for me. She's my person. I can't stand how beautiful she is when she laughs, her head tilted back and her eyes bright, hair falling gracefully around her shoulders. I love when she laughs. I love when we laugh. My favourite memory of ours is actually just after my mother died. Keri took away my pain the way clouds take away sun-you don't realise it's happening until suddenly it's gone. We were lay on our backs in her garden as the warm sun peaked through the trees at us, it was so calm as she took my hand and slowly rubbed her thumb against mine. I glanced at her, she sat up and pulled a funny face as she did so. She threw one leg over me so that she was perched sitting on my stomach and that's when she began to tickle me. The more she tickled me the more I laughed. All the pain and grief and mourning slid away in an instance due to something so simple as a tickle.
Before my mother died (well, before I moved in with Keri) I was always told my feelings towards other girls were "wrong". I hold the word wrong in quotation marks because it's not wrong. When I was around 15 the kids at school would pass me and shout "L is for lesbian", it never really got to me but all the kids would then laugh and scurry away and it did knock my confidence a little. Now i'm old enough to realise that L is for love. it doesn't matter who you love, if you love someone you can't help that. But anyway...where was I?
Keri and I have only had sex twice and we've been seeing each other for 3 years. we're more of the 'cuddle and watch movies' type of people, but those two nights where we did have sex we're the best two nights of my sex-life. I've tried it on with boys and it just didn't work. Keri on the other hand is exactly how I imagined sex to be ever since I was about 17 years old. It sends tingles down my spine even just thinking of her soft hands slowly sliding up my body and...you get the gist.
I never want to loose Keri. It almost happened once a few months back and i've never felt so empty inside in my whole entire life because, well, that girl is my life. It started as a silly argument over what to have for dinner and surely corrupted into a fight over finance issues, the usual I know. She stormed out and slammed the front door of the house closed as she did so and in result of this I collapsed into a ball on the floor of her 1 bedroom apartment. I cried until I couldn't see thinking that when she got back she would expect me to have backed my backs and left, and so that's what I did, spent my night in a hotel just down the street from where Keri's house is. You may be wondering why I didn't go visit my dad and the sad truth is I don't know him.
In the morning after our fight I went back to Keri's and as soon as I walked through her door is the second time we had sex (the first time had been in the public bathroom of a nightclub because everyone has did that at some point). Make-up sex. After that we both came to the conclusion that we couldn't live without each other.
We all need someone like Keri, we all need someone who loves the real us no matter what, someone we fear to loose. If you, the reader are in mind of someone after reading this then I encourage you to get that person. Hold on to them, turn their dark into light. After all, L is for Love.
