I'm falling. Falling too fast. The wind is running wildly past me. Just because I let my tall build up walls tumble down. And that scares me.
And I'm sacred. Too scared of the wind's caress. Too scared of seeing the ground coming closer and closer and closer. Too scared of feeling the hard ground under me.
But I also desire it. Oh, how much I desire those little things that marks us. Those meaningful actions. Those quick "Just checking if you are really here with me" glances. Those "Are you sure" looks. Those quick "See you later" kisses. Those passionate "I don't want to lose you" kisses. Those secret truths that we know of each other.
But I fear it too. Oh, how much I fear the painful landing. The shattered pieces scattered all around. The feeling of being lonely, unwanted. The dark pit you threw me in. You giving up on me. Those pitiful voices screaming and yelling for mercy on ourselves.
You threw me in a deep abyss. Such abyss as dark as the inviting colour of your eyes. Such eyes that made me fall so hard that the blame for the landing might go upon them.
But I might forgive you for that. I might join and glue these little pieces together again. I might stand up again. I might climb up this dark and inviting pit. I might hide and clean the tears that was marked on my face. Or I might stand tall with a clean mind and heart. The desperate voices might leave me alone. I might even find someone else and feel whole again.
But I will never forget what you might do. Because there will be a piece of me that stayed with you, unnoticed. A piece so tiny that you might drop it on your way home on a busy street. Such piece so mistreated. Stepped on over and over and over again. Smashed by merciless figures.
But I keep falling, I keep desiring, I keep fearing. And I'm still falling. And I haven't landed. Yet.
And all I can do is promise that, until my landing, I won't give up on you. Because I will be there, right by your side, supporting you, being the shoulder you need to cry, bringing that cute and dazzling smile of yours up, dancing for nothing, laughing over anything, hugging you until the pain goes away. Well, caring for each other like we are all that matters.
And I am aware that this childish love might not last. But, meanwhile it does, I will be what you need me to be, only if you do the same.
