What would you do? (A Bastille/ Dan Smith fanfic)

68. Caught up in the moment

ALLY’S P.O.V.

The day had been painfully long and I was more than happy to be in bed with Dan. Although, since he had been back from Lou’s he was acting strange. But he kept on dismissing it, saying that he was just upset about Lou’s mum. After all, he had been with her for a long time and so he had obviously become close with her family. He also reminded me that his daughter had lost her nan, so I guess he did have a right to be upset about it. I had just never seen him act like this. Usually grief would make a person want to be close to their loved ones, but he was acting so distant. Oh well, I guess we all deal with things differently.

……..

We were woken up at 6am by Ellie climbing onto our bed. I did not sign up to this shit. I was groggy at the best of times, but with no sleep I was not a happy bunny. Dan didn’t seem like he wanted to get up either. Neither of us were made for parenthood, clearly. Not that I am a parent or anything, but looking after Ellie yesterday had made me think about it. Obviously with Dan as her father I would be spending a lot more time with Ellie. But then in the future would Dan and I have kids? I know it was still way too early to think like that but it was honestly something I had only ever considered with Dan. I loved him a ridiculous amount and I could see us being a family one day.

The early morning was spent running around after Ellie, which was absolutely exhausting. I was actually relieved at 9 when it was time to go to work and felt like that would give me a break. I obviously looked knackered as well, which Seth decided to comment on when I entered the coffee shop.

Seth had, again, been amazing throughout all this stuff going on. He was always there to listen to me blabber on about my problems and I honestly felt like I could tell him anything without him judging me. He was fast becoming one of my closest friends, which were pretty scarce in my life at the moment. I had somehow managed to push away everyone that I was close to.

Kaley: obviously it was her that did wrong, but it was me that couldn’t get over it.

Adam: me and him were once close, but since kissing him and then getting with Dan, we hardly spoke, and each time we did have a conversation the awkwardness was prominent.

Rick and Toby: we had spent less time together recently and it seemed to be because me and Dan had been acting as recluses, spending the majority of our time together on our own without anyone else.

Even my friends from back at home, or those who I had become friends with at uni were nowhere to be seen. I had barely spoken to any of them since my birthday. I hadn’t bothered to pick up the phone to any of them because I had been too wrapped up in my relationship.

Yes, I had become closer with the band, especially Kyle, but they were still Dan’s friends and not my own.

So meeting Seth and feeling like I was able to tell him all about my life was brilliant. From the first day I met him, where I turned up in the coffee shop after running away from Dan and Kaley, Seth had been a brilliant support system. He felt the same about me, telling me about his relationships, friendships and problems. We just naturally clicked as great friends and I was so glad I had him in my life.

“So where’s Dan tonight then?” Seth asked as he wiped the last of the tables clean.

“Probably still at Lou’s. Which is just brilliant for me, I’ll just sit in his flat and wait for him to come home because I have no life.” I didn’t need to hide from Seth my anger about the amount of time the two of them had spent together.

Seth chuckled loudly at my sarcastic tone. “I have a preposition.. Come to mine? We can order a pizza and moan about how fun our lives are?”

“That would be awesome!” I smiled widely. Again, Seth had managed to put a smile on my face when I felt like shit.

After cleaning up the place we locked up and strolled down the street towards Seth’s flat. We spent the rest of the evening scoffing our faces with pizza and chocolate, sipping bear, moaning about relationships and watching shit TV, it was like having a girly night in with Kaley!

It was nearly 9 o’clock and my phone buzzed, signalling a call from Dan. I excused myself from the room and answered the phone.

“Hey Dan, what’s  up?” I said as I stood up from the sofa, feeling slightly tipsy from the amount of beers that I had consumed.

“Just got home and wondering where you were?”

“I came to Seth’s after work cause I knew you were going to be at Lou’s.”

“Oh.. Well I’m home now.”

“Right…” I don’t quite know what he wanted me to say to that. Okay I’ll be home right away? No chance.

“You going to come home then?”

“Um, no I’ll be back a bit later on.”

“Oh fine, what am I meant to do then?”

“I don’t know Dan! I’m on my own in that flat all the time! Spend some time with your flatmates, read a book for all I care!”

“Fine then.” He replied quickly and hung up the phone. Where the fuck did that argument just come from?! I don’t know why I snapped at him, but it was pissing me off that he expected me to drop all my plans straight away and come running home. Especially seeing as if I wouldn’t have come here then I would have just been sat on my own for 5 hours. It was almost as if I wasn’t even allowed my own friends.

Dan and I were turning into one of those couples who always bickered and there was always an issue. Whether it was my psycho best friend, my creepy ex, his drug problem or his ex showing up with a kid, we always seemed to have a problem.

DAN’S P.O.V.

I thought it would be awkward today with me and Lou after what had happened the other night, but it was absolutely fine. I spent most of the day looking after Ellie whilst Lou spent most of the day on the phone, calling family friends informing them of her mother’s death and starting with funeral arrangements.

It soon came to the time where we both put Ellie to bed after reading her a story. When we got downstairs we both slouched on the sofa, utterly shattered from the events of the past few days. “Wine?” Lou had asked, and I was only too happy to agree.

2 bottles down and I was feeling slightly tipsy. We had been laughing about old times and I was once again reminded about how many good memories we shared. Yes, they could be overlooked with the memories of her cheating and lying, but we still had a brilliant 2 years together.

Then came the moment again where we were laying down on the sofa kissing passionately, this time topless. Thoughts of Ally left my mind as my need for Lou grew stronger.

………

I lay in a post sex haze, naked next to Lou and actually felt sick. I was now one of those people that I hated. I was a cheat. Yes, I had kissed Lou the other day but Ally could have possibly forgiven me for that. There was no way that I deserved forgiveness now. I was disgusting. I don't even love Lou anymore, I just got completely caught up in the moment.

“Dan?” Lou questioned as I reached over the side of the sofa to find my clothes and got myself dressed quickly, I had to get out of this place.

“That was totally wrong, I need to go.”

“No Dan. It was so right. Dan stay.” She pleaded as I got all of my stuff together.

“This has gone too far Lou! I… I have Ally.”

“Well, you clearly weren’t thinking about Ally a minute ago for fucks sake. Now the guilt hits you then?”

“I need to go.” I repeated, making a run for the door. I paced down the street and into the nearest taxi back to my flat. Ally would be wondering where I was. Could I tell her that I was at Lou’s? Would she get suspicious? It doesn't even matter if she does get suspicious, I need to tell her.

I called her as soon as I got home and I realised that she wasn’t there. She was at Seth’s. Brilliant, what am I meant to do? I now had to sit around and wait for her to come home so that I could tell her the truth. There is no way I can keep this a secret.