A Hard Goodbye

Hard times

Her voice never left me, it is always in my head, her voice... her beautiful, but haunting voice always a constant reminder, and there is no escape from its sound. There is no hope for me to survive this pain. Every time I closed my eyes I see her, I remember our times together, our arguments, and our love. At this rate, I will be underground very soon, and no one knows the unbearable pain I face.

Her smile was my world, but my world has vanished as did she. Everyday I drown even more, and there is no escape. I am locked away from the world in this room, where it is dark, a mess of broken pieces, so I'm sitting here on the cold wooden floor against my bed. I wrap my arms around myself like the way I used to wrap my arms around her.  Is it a curse?, why did you have to leave me? Please... can please tell me why? I still love you. Why can't you just be here? Why can't you be here to tell me it's alright?, to tell me you care?, and to tell me that you love me? It is useless to ask questions anymore. She is not going to bother to hear or answer me.

Tomorrow is the day I have to go back to school, the day I am most to regret, and the day I would have got to see her again. I had a week off of school to hopefully try and forget her, I am failing most of my classes now, and it doesn't matter anymore because she is no longer beside me. Everyone is worried about me, they tried to helping but it is useless, but nothing can fix me anymore, not even without her, she was my medicine, and my drug.

I fell asleep on the floor. Few hours had passed on and I have woken up. The room is pitch dark now, I put my hand in front of my face, and couldn't see it. Crawling to my bed and laying flat on my stomach, not giving a frick, as the burning tears slowly roll down from my eyes, I remembered our night phone calls, and I slowly fell asleep. Soon the alarm goes off *BEEP BEEP BEEP*  slamming my hand on the alarm I get up groaning. My eyes hurt from the brightness of the sun, I moved to lay on my back and using my arm to cover my eyes as I stared at the ceiling, and hoping all of this pain is a nightmare.

There was a soft knock against my door, my mother announced, "Sweetheart, it's time for you to get up," there was a quick pause, "I know it was hard for you, but remember she would want you to have a good life." and deep inside I knew my mother was right, but I don't want to live without her. "Okay, mom... I'm up now," I shouted. My mother's footsteps soon drifted off. I finally got the courage to sit up. My head is pounding, my head felt like a whirlpool.

I grab my pills, Tylenol, from my bed stand. As I was swallowing my pills, and I see the present that she give me. A picture of us, I remember that day perfectly, we were at Disney World together, you were on my back and you whisper to my ear I love you for the first time, and it was the best day ever. I put grabbed the picture frame and put in the drawer facing downward. I stood up and went towards my bathroom. I took a shower, hoping it can relax me but it doesn't, so I went to shower.

I wrap the towel around my waist as I leave the bathroom, I just put on a shirt and a jeans, my backpack was lying on the floor, It has been untouched ever since her death, I grabbed it, and headed downstairs. "Hi sweety, I made you some breakfast and when come back home I will make your favorite meal," my mother sweetly spoke. "Thanks, mom but I will be a little late," I responded. "Oh okay, but don't take to long okay and make sure to call me," my mother quaked.

I grabbed her shoulders and look her in the eye and said, "Don't worry about me. I will be fine. I can take care of myself." "Yes, you can. You growing up way to fast," my mother smiled. On the marble table there is two plates that is untouched. Omelettes on one side and the other side was 4 strips of bacon. I sat down on the rusty old cushion chair.

My mother sat down immediately, It was quiet as usual, so I just sat down and ate my breakfast. I got up and walked to the door to leave. I said goodbye to my mother before I left. I see the sadness in her eyes. I know she worried about me, but her help can't help me. It was very sunny outside, to bad it is a waste, when I finally got to school, I put my headphones in, and walked to my classroom without making eye contact with anyone. I feel their eyes looking at me, their words of gossip, and rumors all boring into my soul.

"Hey, Mason, I was told to inform you to head to Mrs. Jays' office," Mr. Vice insisted, "Also, welcome back kid. I know it has been hard, but soon this grief will bloom into a beautiful flower and don't worry about class this week okay." "Thanks Mr. Vice, I appreciate it," I replied. I started to head towards Mrs. Jay's office, so many things in my mind that I can't get rid off. Sooner than expected I was front of Mrs. Jay's office, I was going to knock and as I raise my hand, I just stood there frozen.

Stuck, not able to do anything, overmeled with my thoughts. Then the door opened and everything just came back. "Oh, hi Mason, please come in. We have a lot to talk about," Mrs Jay addressed, I walked in and sat on uncomebale green chair, Mrs Jay followed me after. "Mason, I know everything must be hard on you, but it is time for you to go back to school. I want you to know if anything gets too overwhelming that you can just contact me and we can do whatever to make it easy." 

"Okay, thank you," I said speaking softly. "Do you have any questions for me or is there anything you want to discuss?" Mrs Jay asked.  "No, not at the moment. But I will come to you if I anything." I answered solemnly.  "Oh, well then you can go back to your class." Mrs Jay respond "Okay, thank you. Have a good day." I said politely. "Thank you and you too." She said back smiling to try and get me to smile but not working. As I was walking to door and open the door, Mrs Jay looked at me if I was sad lonely child which I was. But in the end, I walked out and not giving a damn the world turned its back on me, so I did the same.

I walked along in the empty halls to my class that I didn't want to return to because it was that class where I first met her. That class where my whole life turned around, where my life fell upside down.
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A/N
If y'all like it and want more my friend and I can always write more if there is a request for more to it, but otherwise thanks for reading this wonderful bit,