Jana's POV:
"I'd like to say we gave it a try. I'd like to blame it all on life. Maybe we just weren't right, but thats a lie. THATS A LIE!"
I sat in my queen size bed, knee-to-chest position bawling my eyes out. I had my custom made 'Artist Beats Solo Headphones over my head with my phone to the right of me. The song that was playing was "Almost Is Never Enough by Ariana Grande." I promised myself a long time ago that I would never EVER waste my tears on a good for nothing ass dude. But obviously I'm breaking my promise as we speak. After all I've done for him, after everything that we been through he repays me like this? Im hurt and my heart is broken. How could i be so stupid? How could he betray me. I thought he loved me as much as i loved him. How could i believe his "promises?" Well EMPTY Promises. "Baby I love you," "babe i swear to you on my grandma im done messing up, you're my all and i never want to lose you." *sighs* all these dudes do is lie on they d*ck and on they grandmama's head. Just PATHETIC. Sorry, lying, good for nothing ass BOYS. I just honestly CANT believe that Mykal's ugly ass would cheat on me. ON ME! ESPECIALLY with the BIGGEST ho' at North Clayton High School. Traci Davis. Hmph. What does she have on me? Can somebody PLEASE answer that? Im tired of crying and Im tired of stressing. I can hear my mamas voice playing over in my head now "baby girl these BOYS dont love you. This is play time for now. One day a good MAN will come along and do for you what these BOYS will never be capable of." I never even knew what she meant. I never knew that there was a difference. All of my past relationships were just for play. They were just occupants of my time until something better came along. They were all my age, and they were cool and everything, but they were better off as friends. Then one day Mykal came along. It was our 10th grade year. We were in the same biology class. We instantly clicked. And from then we became very close friends. He was always a small crush for me. And I guess the feelings were mutual, because the summer right before our 11th grade year we started dating. August 2nd Is Our Date. He was everything i ever wanted. Everything I needed. And D*mn sure EVERYTHING I've ever dreamt about. He was sweet, charming, honest, funny as hell, and lets not forget FINE. He showed me what i thought was real. I honestly thought he was in MY corner completely and down for ME and ONLY ME.
I never could take anyone else serious. It seemed like they were all about SEX. With me still being a virgin and in my last year of high school I didn't want to just up and lose my virginity to anybody I didnt trust. With Mykal I trusted him. I honestly loved that boy with my WHOLE HEART. He never was like other guys. Well at least he never showed me that side of him. He never pressured me to do anything that I was not comfortable doing. Well that is up until a few months ago. His hormones were raging like never before. Usually everything was slow and passionate. Mykal always did know how to treat me with respect and wait on me. But now. I dont know what to say. Everything is so rough and forceful now. Our kisses are filled with lust, but still a little passion. When he holds me he holds me tighter than ever before. When we hold hands its like he's trying to find his mama in my hand cause the boy never let go. Everything now, turns back to sex. It gets annoying as hell. I know he wants me intimately. As do I, but i promised myself that i wouldn't have sex until either I knew that he was the one, or at least until I was ready. Mykals package was a LOT to handle, so when I did think i was ready we would get started, only to stop when he pulled his pants down.
"Can I talk to you? Comfort you? Let you know, that I CARE 4 U" I stopped reminiscing about old times when my phone started to play "I Care 4 You" by the late great Aaliyah. I instantly rolled my eyes hard as hell as if anybody could see me and i pressed decline. Speaking of the devil. I wonder what his cheating ass called for. To apologize? Hmph. Thats funny. He wasn't sorry when he cheated on me the first time, so I just KNOW he isn't sorry now.
See remember when I said his behavior began to change some months ago? Well yeah shortly after he started agging me about sex he stopped. But for two weeks. Then he started acting all distant at times, and i really didn't think much of it. But then it became constant. About a two months ago we were about to go out on a date. Then 30 minutes before he was about to come get me, he called and canceled. He said his mom's car broke down so she needed to use his. And I was thinking that old..... Ohwee im not even gonna talk about Miss Lady cause she was nice as hell. But right when I was about to hang up i heard a female voice in the background. "Alright baby did she fall for it?" BABY? Fall for it? What? "Yeah but anyway i didnt come all the way over here for nothing you gone give me some head or what?" Next thing I KNOW im hearing his grunts and moans, her slurping and gagging, and Young Dolph playing in the background. I was beyond pissed off. Her name was Tanesha. I saw her around school a few times. She was pretty as hell in the face I cant even lie. The only thing is, she was a little on the heavy side. Still pretty though.
My iPhone 5s started to ring again. This time it was the default ringtone. "Oh My F*CKING GOSH LIKE DO THESE PEOPLE GET THAT I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO THEY ASS?" This time i answered the phone with hella attitude. "HELLO?"
"Baby please don't hang up just hear me out."
I Rolled My eyes hard as hell again. I got that BAD.. "Bye Mykal, there is nothing for me to hear i don't care goodbye."
"Baby PLEASE. Im so sorry i didn't mean to hurt you. I swear on my grandma baby i didn't. Traci's crazy ass pressured me into it. You know you not
giving me none. I had to get it from somewhere else." I stopped in my tracks. Here he go calling MY phone with a half ass apology then try to flip the script on me. Hell naw not in THIS life time. So i let his ass have it.
"How tf can somebody pressure your GROWN ASS into having sex with them? You know she the biggest ho in the city and you still f*cked her. See i gave your ass a pass when you let lil miss fat back eat the man. But this sh*t here? This sh*t DEAD. Then you try to flip it off on me like its my motherf*cking fault. Hell naw you got me f*cked all the way up. If you would've learned to keep your d*ck in your pants you could've kept me. How do you know that i wasn't gonna finally decide to give you the rest of me on our anniversary? Huh Mykal? You around here f*cking this b*tch who's p*ssy you can probably drive a car in. AND ON OUR ANNIVERSARY."
Tears were just streaming from my eyes at this point. I know for a fact that my face was red because my ears and face began to get hot. I caught his ass in the act this time. It All Happened Again Last night.
*Flashback*
He canceled again. And ON OUR ANNIVERSARY. This time he didnt even have a legitimate excuse. He just said "babe maybe some other time i dont feel like it." Thats when i hopped my happy ass in my Black Jeep Wrangler Sport and drove 15 minutes to his house. I just sat and watched. I had a feeling he was about to go somewhere else. Call me crazy, but i waited in the same spot for an hour. And thats when he decided to up and leave. And i followed him . I was careful enough to let at least one or two cars come between mine and his. 10 minutes later he's pulling up at Traci's Crib. All if the lights were off but you could tell that the tv in the living room was on. He walked up to her front door and knocked. Seconds later she's at her door with sweatpants and a shirt on. She looked shocked and confused. They exchanged words and moments later the tv in the living room was off and a light in one of the rooms flicked on. I was trying to make sense of what was happening right before me. And yes it took ALL OF ME to stay in my car and not beat both of they ass AT HER HOUSE. I was thinking to myself while sitting and waiting. Maybe they just studying. Maybe they just chilling. I dont know hell maybe she cooked for him. Mykal is FOREVER HUNGRY. Next thing i know im walking up to Traci's house to the window with the light on careful not to get caught. And all i hear is moans. I ran back to my car leaving a trail of tears on the ground. Then i rushed back home. Trying to stop crying so that i can see well enough to drive.
*End Of Flash Back*
"JANA! Do you hear me?"
"Bye Mykal its over." And with that i hung up the phone. I got on instagram, facebook, snapchat, and twitter and blocked Mykal. Then i went to my contacts looked for what Mykal's name was saved under in my phone which were emojis that spelled out "Boyfriend" (🅱💍🌱👫®👀📧👖🔃). First I Blocked It then I Deleted It. I went to the text messages, slid over what i knew would be his number and pressed delete. Im through. Its Over. Now I can finally focus on me. I just want to be happy. Im done letting him hold me back. I know its gonna be hard to let go and get over him, but i refuse to constantly let him hurt me. I loved him with everything in me. I loved him so much that i feel empty inside. And i also love him enough to let him go. But TRUST ME. One day, he gonna get his. Cause one thing about them tables baby, they ALWAYS turn
