1992
I rise to my feet, wiping my mouth. With sweaty palms, I flush the toilet and leave the bathroom stall. I begin washing my hands, watching myself in the mirror with a sigh. That's the third time this week I've gotten sick during third period. Something is wrong.
Hands shaking, I pace back and forth. My mind spins with the possibilities. I can't have a baby. It has to be negative. It has to. I'm up for Homecoming Queen. That could change everything for my image. No longer would Riverdale High see me as a pathetic Southsider trying to erase her past. It would all be erased. I don't need a baby to tarnish that.
With a deep breath I pick up the test, only to see a cross.
I'm pregnant.
Tears slowly roll down my cheeks, past my nose, down my chin.
How could I be so stupid?
"You look beautiful tonight, Alice." FP greeted with a grin breaking out on his face.
I rarely went to the Whyte Wyrm, but he ate his heart out when I did. I roll my eyes at him, pretending that my heart isn't beating out my chest. He was always handsome, but I know trouble when I see it. And FP Jones? He reigned as the King of Trouble, and the Serpent King.
We grew up together on the Southside with rough living situations, and it bonded us. As kids we were nearly inseparable. But when his dad kicked him out, he joined the Serpents. Trying to be smart, I distanced myself. But he always found his way to me. He made high school hard for me. I wanted to leave my wretched past behind me and begin a new life. Going to school on the Northside was the first step. But just as FP always found his way to me, I always went back to him.
The first two years of high school I tried to stay away. His reputation and deviant behavior made it easier, but my heart always ached for him. I wanted more than anything for FP to be safe. He couldn't do that with such terrible circumstances. Stupidly, I suggested he scope out the Northside with me. His foolish grin gave way to his excitement to spend time together again like old times.
Once FP enrolled in Riverdale High, my ploy to polish my image was tarnished and shattered. FP was a Serpent, whether or not he played football. He still managed to get into heaps of trouble at every chance. It put a strain on me. I wanted nothing more than to remake myself into a sophisticated, well-to-do young woman. I wanted success and I wouldn't let my past stand in the way.
Then I met Hal Cooper. He saved me. We became a power couple at Riverdale High, the poster children of the perfect high school experience. We drank milkshakes at Pop's and had study dates. Everything between us was good and perfect. I wanted for nothing when I was with Hal.
"I can't believe you're parading around with that tool," FP scoffed, back against the locker next to mine. Fred Andrews in tow, ready to come to my defense if need be.
I looked from behind my locker door, sending FP daggers.
"You could find a nice girl, too, FP." I stated, turning my attention back to the contents of my locker.
Fred excused himself to go meet Hermione.
"I have," FP replied through clenched teeth, stepping closer.
I only spared him a glance.
"Alice," he said again, trying to get my attention over the roaring music in the Wyrm. "What made you come here tonight?" He questions, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Stress?" I shrug, taking back more of my drink. His eyes watched me try to drink my troubles away. The animal in him felt encouraged.
He lurched and attached his lips to mine, the flavors of alcohol mixing.
I haven't thought of that night since it happened. It completely retreated to the depths of my mind. I wanted to keep it locked away and buried from any prying eyes. Luckily, Hal never asked questions. But something tells me he's about to start.
The following weeks leading up to homecoming bring on more sickness, and paranoia. I can't help worrying about when Hal might start to notice things changing and then start asking questions. I've avoided FP with everything in me, just to be extra precautious. Risking any possibility of things coming to light and jeopardizing my run for Homecoming Queen would be a nightmare.
I tread lightly, as if I'm trying to walk on water. I keep a smile on my face. Hal shrugs off any suspicions as time creeps forward. His trust in me grows and I begin to lie effortlessly when need be. It becomes too easy to pretend I'm someone I'm not, with a life I don't have.
People all around Riverdale notice a change in my attitude. I'm happy, always smiling, ready to take on anything the world might try to throw at me. That's what everyone sees. It's astounding how easy it is to live as if you feel the exact opposite to your real feelings. My positive demeanor allows for a positive edge in the Homecoming race.
Every so often, I catch FP watching me smile and laugh with Hal and our friends. I rarely give him the time of day with never so much as a glance. I retreat into my bubble of happy high school perfection, living the life I always wanted.
Cheers erupt and Hal pulls me to the stage. We won Homecoming King and Queen. A smile finds its way onto my face as the crown is placed on my head. Hal gazes at me with love and pride, admiring his Queen under the bright lights. After our dance as King and Queen I pull him aside.
"Hal," I start, swallowing the lump in my throat.
Just yesterday I found out that I'm having a boy. I felt the heartbeat, and saw the outline of his face. Seeing my baby and feeling my baby makes it all too real. I stare into his eyes, searching for any awareness to the situation. My panic doesn't shine through my facade.
"I have– I have to tell you something." I breathe out, afraid to say any more.
"What is it, Alice?" He wonders, concern registering on his face as he looks down at me, our hands entwined at our sides.
The music shakes the floor and the walls, peers dancing all around. Everyone is having the time of their lives laughing, dancing. My eyes rake over Hal's face nervously. He tilts his head sightly, giving way to his curiosity.
"I'm pregnant." I mumble, hoping he heard, but also hoping he didn't.
As I watch his face change, my heart thumps like a bass drum in my ears. If he says anything, I may not hear it.
"You're going to abort it, right?" Is all Hal has to say.
My face falls. Afraid to look at him, I look anywhere else. As I scan the room I catch sight of someone just close enough to hear every word.
God damn FP Jones.
